


Spectrum

by UglyHobo



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: An attempt at suicide, Broken Families, Counselling, F/F, Families of Choice, Friendship, Gen, Healthy Relationships, Mentions of Lex Luthor - Freeform, Mentions of Lillian Luthor - Freeform, Mild Angst, Other, Personal Growth, Support, Thoughts of Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-09-17 14:45:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9329738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UglyHobo/pseuds/UglyHobo
Summary: Lena Luthor feels like she's living a monochromatic life where she's alone and with all her emotional baggage, why shouldn't she be?  With an unexpected invitation to learn how to cook from her secretary, Jess, she finds that colour starts to bleed into her life.Maybe at the end of everything, she can be honest with herself and admit that her favourite colour might be yellow.But that's not because it reminds her of a certain CatCo reporter or anything...





	1. Red

**Author's Note:**

> Since Chinese New Year's is coming and there needs to be more fics that display a solid friendship between Jess and Lena.

“Ms. Luthor?”

Lena peeked up from her laptop, fingers still flying over her keyboard.

“Did you need something, Jess?”

“It’s already 7PM.  You should head home and enjoy the weekend.”

The business woman smiled wryly before returning her gaze back down to her computer screen. 

“Work is my weekend.  Although, that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying yours.  Don’t feel like you have to stay here with me, go on and start your weekend.  I know it’s an important one to you.”

Jess shifted uncertainly for a moment.  “Would you like to learn how to make wontons, Ms. Luthor?”

Completely blindsided by the question, the rhythmic tapping of keys abruptly stopped.  Bright emerald eyes widened in confusion. 

Jess merely smiled.

“Well?”

“I…”

“It’s Chinese New Year’s Eve.”

“I’ve got some important emails to send out and—”

“Consider it team bonding.”

Lena nervously ran her fingers over her keyboard.  It wasn’t often that she was invited to attend casual events or to “hang out” with friends who didn’t have ulterior motives—this was unknown territory…unless Jess was angling for something more?  But Jess has been with her since the beginning and has shown nothing but loyalty even after the fallout with moving to National City and the backlash of changing the direction of L-Corp.  Why would she want to invite her boss to spend time with her outside of work?

“Frowning will cause pre-mature wrinkles, Ms. Luthor.”  Jess’ eyes twinkled with humour.

Letting out a short, quick sigh, Lena theatrically rolled her eyes.

“I _suppose_ I can take a break.”

With a quick clap of her hands, Jess smiled brightly at her boss.  “Great!  We’ll need to stop by the Chinese market on the way so I can pick up some ingredients.”  Lena offered a tentative smile as Jess grabbed her coat and held it out for her.  Whatever Jess’ intentions were for inviting Lena to learn how to cook Chinese cuisine, it looked like she was going find out first hand.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

She felt absolutely ridiculous standing in the middle of her secretary’s condo wearing an apron with a cat frowning on it.  Jess casually hummed to herself as she pulled her hair up into a high bun, as she quickly pulled out the necessary ingredients and placed them along the counter top of her kitchen island.  Feeling absolutely out of her depth, Lena quickly crossed her arms over her chest, trying to hide the abomination of a design that was on the front of her apron, as her hands twitched nervously, anxiously waiting for their ‘team bonding’ to start so that she could get the hell out of here and back to work.   The young secretary was quick to notice the discomfort radiating off her boss and offered her a gentle smile.

“I’ve got everything ready to go, Ms. Luthor.  Would you like to wash your hands before we start?”

Relief flooded Lena’s features as she quickly soaped up her hands, grateful to finally do something.  Jess quickly tore the saran wrap off the ground pork and plunked it into the large mixing bowl.

“You’ve never made wontons before?”

Lena shook her head, high ponytail swishing from side to side.

“You’ll love it.  Alright, Ms. Luthor, would you like to be the mixer or the person who adds in the ingredients?”

“Well, I did just wash my hands so I might as well mix since you know the amount of ingredients needed.”

Jess’ eyebrows shot up.

“Well…I could tell you the amount needed.  It’s kind of hard to mix meat with utensils so you would need to use your hands.  You know, I think it would be best if I mixed and you added the ingredients.”

“Why?” Lena asked, eyebrow arched challengingly.  “Don’t think a Luthor should be able to get her hands dirty?”

Alarm bells were blaring in her head.  Jess schooled her features as she quickly backtracked.

“No, Ms. Luthor.  I—”

“It’s fine, Jess.  Honestly, I don’t mind.” Lena’s voice softened at the end, hoping to convey that she wasn’t actually upset at the younger girl.

The brunette offered a small smile and Jess offered back her own hesitant one.  She fussed over the measuring spoons as Lena stared down at the mixing bowl.  For all her bravado, Lena wasn’t well-versed in cooking and wasn’t sure what to do.  To be honest, she chose to mix all the ingredients because she didn’t want to look like the stereotypical prissy rich woman who thought getting her hands dirty when cooking was beneath her.  She could feel her secretary carefully eying her, ready to jump in, and switch roles with her.  Steeling her nerves, Lena reached in and grabbed a handful then squeezed.  Jess subtly breathed out in relief and measured out the first ingredient.

“It’d be easiest if you paused each time I added an ingredient so it doesn’t end up all over your hand.”

Lena nodded and carefully mixed as best she could while Jess carefully measured out each portion.  The duo worked quietly for a few moments.

“How is Jordan doing?”

“Oh, he’s good!  Just away until next week.”

“Is he on a work trip?”

Lena paused as Jess deftly cracked open an egg with one hand over the bowl.

“Not really.  It’s more of a personal trip but he is checking on one of the branches in Calgary.”

“Seems a bit cruel to leave behind his girlfriend to go on a personal trip.”

Jess laughed at the protective tone.  “Well, it’s his grandma’s 80th birthday and his family planned a surprise party where all of his siblings and him would be in attendance.”

“He didn’t invite you?”

“Of course he did!  I just had some things to take care of so I needed to stay behind.”

“Jess, if you told me, I could’ve given you the time off!” Aghast, Lena stopped mixing and levelled a serious look at her secretary.  God, she didn’t want to overwork her best employee.  Lena is beyond grateful for having Jess manage the influx of emails, meetings with people vying for an audience, interviews, and maintaining the encrypted algorithm that kept all of Lena’s missives private from those looking to pry away company secrets and blackmail on her.

“Don’t worry about it, Ms. Luthor.  Everything is good between me and Jordan.”

Pursing her lips, Lena hesitantly started to mix again.

“I’d like you to know that I can grant any time you need off, whenever you need it, Jess.  Seriously, you work just as many days as I do.  Please don’t feel like you can’t ask for time off.”

Jess smiled fondly at her.  “Of course, Ms. Luthor.  You don’t have to feel guilty though, I was the one that chose to stay in National City.”

Lena bit the inside of her cheek as she squeezed the ground pork between her fingers.  She certainly did feel guilty.  Just because she didn’t have anyone to come home to (other than her cat) that didn’t mean that she needed to force her crazy work schedule on her dedicated secretary.  How typical of a Luthor—selfish and too self-absorbed to notice the needs of others.

“What was so pressing that you needed to stay here?  I think it’d be rather depressing to celebrate something as important as Chinese New Year’s alone.” She asked, trying to will the dark thoughts away.

Jess took her time to carefully pour the soy sauce into the measuring spoon. Her silence drove Lena’s thoughts into overdrive.  Was this a ploy to ask for a raise?  Was Jess quitting?  Gut twisting, her secretary gently called out for Lena to pause as she quickly poured the measured amount into the bowl.

“I stayed because I had some emails to write.”

The businesswoman quirked an eyebrow at the familiar response.  Her eyes met Jess’ and she immediately saw the twitch at the corner of the young Chinese woman’s mouth.

“Didn’t realize I asked for a sassy remark, Ms. Leung.”

Jess grinned.

“Every time I tell you to leave the office and go home, you always give me the same excuses.  It’s either you’re busy going over the departmental reports or you’re busy sending off some emails.”

Gasping in mock offence, Lena clutched her clean hand to her chest.  “I’ll have you know that being the CEO of the world renowned L-Corp business is very serious work, Ms. Leung!  How dare you question the validity of my words."

Huffing at her boss, Jess playfully nodded along at Lena’s words.

“Riiiight.  So, when I asked you if you wanted to learn how to make wontons earlier, you didn’t try to say you had some ‘important’ emails to send off as an excuse to keep working?”

Caught red handed, the CEO bit the inside of her cheek to keep her poker face from cracking.  It was difficult considering the ghost of a smile on Jess’ lips made keeping a faux upset look even more difficult.

“Alright, Jess.  Har har.  Now why did you really turn down going to Canada with your boyfriend?”

“I was needed at L-Corp.” She casually responded with a half shrug of her shoulders.

Lena stared.

Even though Jess was trying to play off her answer like it was nothing major, to Lena, it was anything but.  In her short response, Lena knew exactly what Jess was trying to say.  _You needed me so I stayed_.  Jess’ quiet loyalty struck Lena deep.  In what universe did a loathsome Luthor deserve someone as devoted as Jessica Leung?  Swallowing the sudden influx of emotion back down, Lena cleared her throat.

“You didn’t need to, I would’ve been fine,” muttered the CEO.  “But…thank you for choosing to stay.  I’m grateful for all that you do.”

Popping the dirtied measuring spoons into the sink, Jess gestured to Lena to wash her hands.  The young secretary busied herself with putting away the different containers of sauces and dry ingredients, offering Lena the space she needed to get her emotions under control.  She was grateful for Jess’ sharp sense of intuition and being able to read that Lena needed a moment to collect herself.  It wouldn’t do for a Luthor to become so soft and show emotion like this.  If she closed her eyes, she could almost hear the snide cut of Lillian Luthor’s voice at the thought, the cruel upward twist of her lips, and cold blue eyes…

Lena scrubbed her hands harder.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

“You know, it’s really unbecoming of you to flaunt your perfect wontons in my face, Jess.”

Jess casually placed another completed wonton on her growing pile.  Glancing over at Lena’s, there were significantly less and more deformed wontons.  Chuckling at her boss as she struggled to transfer the meat into the rectangular dough wrapper, Jess lightly tapped the Luthor’s forearm.

“If I may, Ms. Luthor?  Manhandling the wontons isn’t really the most effective of approaches.”

Lena shoved her hands forward and glared.

Undeterred by the venomous look her boss was giving her, Jess removed the food items from the brunette’s hands and quickly transformed them into another perfect wonton.

“You need to keep the amount of meat consistent between each one.  Otherwise, you’ll have meat spilling out when you’re trying to close it or it’ll be a disappointing mouthful when you eat it.”

Lena’s eyes shifted down to her small pile of wonky wontons.  Some were so fat that closing it wasn’t very successful and bits of the pork mixture had spilled out, while others looked like a demented food ball from hell.

Coughing lightly in embarrassment, Lena forced the shame out of her voice.  “Could you show me how to wrap a wonton again, Jess?”

Smile serene, the younger woman started again with Lena diligently mimicking her movements.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

Lena became more confident in her skills as the growing pile on her plate morphed from sad excuses to picture perfect wontons.  At one point, Jess had even complimented Lena on her improvement!  Jess was happily humming as she worked while Lena felt the anxious knots in her stomach loosen.  It was nice to spend time with someone who wasn’t afraid to be in the same room as a Luthor and just do something as casual as preparing food together.  She allowed herself a quiet smile as she pinched down the dough to form another perfect wonton.

“Is Jordan still working at the food bank?”

“Mn, he’s been promoted to Head Community Coordinator so he has to fly out sometimes to ensure that the rapport between the executives and the volunteers are going smoothly.  More often than not, he has to wrangle them into doing some crazy team building exercise.”

“You mean like wonton making?”

“I’ll have you know this is free labour.”

“You’ll be hearing from my lawyers.”

“As if.  I can counter sue you for all the emotional distress you’ve caused me from having to deal with privileged old white men talking slow and loud to me because they think I’m ESL.”

Lena winced.

“Does that happen often?”

“I have Richard from security on standby nowadays.”

Lena shook her head.  Leave it to Jess to find a way to deal with such idiots.

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?  Is family coming over or something?”

Jess’ movements slowed at the question.

“No, they’re a bit preoccupied at the moment and couldn’t fly out to National City this year.”

Brows furrowing in concern, Lena reached out to place a comforting hand on Jess’ shoulder, but saw the flour dusting her fingers and lamely dropped her hand onto the counter.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Jess.  Are they busy with work?”

“Always.  Dad is a business man and Mom is a lawyer.  I’m sure they’ll find time to call me but I haven’t seen them in person in a few years.”

“Well, I’m sure they’re proud of you, even if they don’t have time to say it to you in person.”

“Is that what you wish Lillian would tell you?” Jess bitterly retorted.  Surprised at the harshness of the statement, Lena stared dumbfounded at the usually polite and sometimes sassy woman.  Jess’ eyes met hers and the young Chinese woman sighed.  “I apologize.  That was completely out of line and rude of me, Ms. Luthor.”

Unsure of what to do, Lena busied herself with grabbing the next spoonful of meat for her next wonton.  Jess bit her lip.

“I really am sorry, Ms. Luthor.  I just…my family life is mediocre at best.”

“Not to toot my own horn but I think I’m kind of an expert at understanding family troubles, Ms. Leung.”

Jess offered her boss a wan smile.

“My parents weren’t exactly thrilled when they realized their only kid was into computers and tech.  They always figured I’d end up like one of them.”  Jess wiped an errant strand of hair away from her forehead with the back of her hand while Lena carefully listened.  “Imagine their disappointment when I went to school and graduated with honours from the computer sciences program.  God, if I didn’t know they were disappointed in me before, the half-hearted congratulations at my convocation definitely did.”

“Jess, I had no idea…I’m—”

“Don’t say you’re sorry because I’m not.”  Jess pursed her lips together as she focused hard on pinching the parts of the wonton shut.  “I never imagined that out of the hundreds of job applications I sent out that Luthor Corp would be the one to offer me a job.  It felt like a damn dream to be offered the chance to do something I loved at one of the most advanced technological companies out there in the world.”

Jess squeezed her eyes shut, willing the torrent of feelings to keep at bay. Her family’s disappointment in her life choices was too much, even now.  She slid out of her bar chair and quickly rinsed her hands off; she could feel sympathetic eyes following her every movement.

“Would you like some tea, Ms. Luthor?”

“I…yes, that’d be lovely.  Thank you, Jess.”

She nodded her head in confirmation and quickly put on the hot water kettle.  She offered two different bags of tea leaves for Lena to smell and quickly spun her back to Lena as she dumped a healthy handful into the empty tea pot.  Tears pooling at the bottom of her eyelids, she let her finger silently trace nonsensical patterns along the body of the tea pot.

“Jess…do you regret working for me?” Lena asked in a quiet voice.  She could see her secretary’s shoulders bunch up near her ears for a quick moment before they immediately sagged.

“No. You gave me a new shot at life.  You picked me out of all the talent you had at Luthor Corp to be your right hand woman.  I still don’t understand why you chose a random entry level programmer when you had tons of senior employees in the same field and loads of experienced secretaries that no doubt applied for the job…”

“It’s because you’re talented, Jess.  You were creative and had ideas…ideas that your old boss was ignoring!”

Jess bit her lip. She remembered those days.  Doing banal work that was a joke compared to what she went to school for.  Her sole job was to create complex code to improve and manage the different pages of the Luthor Corp website.  With all the downtime Jess had, she kept an ear to the ground and heard about different projects that others were on when she was in the lunch room and desperate to move into a more meaningful job role, she had offered her solutions to the lead programmer but was shut down repeatedly for stepping beyond her station.  The verbal berating she got in front of her colleagues still brought the feeling of humiliation burning low in the center of her chest.

“Ms. Luthor…you gave me the chance to live by my own rules and forge my own path in life.  I thought I was going to be stuck working for that ignorant man my whole career.”

“You know, I was there that day when I heard him yell at you.”

Jess’ head shot up as she whipped around.  Lena’s cool green eyes met hers in an unwavering stare.

“Why…he called me insubordinate.  You heard that!  If you heard that then why would you want to hire someone who was seen as a troublemaker to be your secretary??”

Lena shrugged.

“He also yelled out your plans on how to solve the issue of peoples’ emails being hacked.  It was a clever idea and I was interested.  He was a fool to dismiss your idea and treat you the way he did.”

She could only stare in open mouthed shock.  To her mortification, Lena must have heard the entire exchange if she heard the part about her previous boss mocking her idea.  Just then the kettle sounded it’s completion as it switched to standby mode.  Quickly pouring the hot water into the tea pot, Jess’ mind was racing at the seemingly out-of-blue job offer she received from Lena.  Initially, she was confused and terrified when the head of Human Resources came down to personally escort her to Lena’s office.  She thought she was going to be fired because her boss ratted her out to the newly appointed CEO about her insubordination; little did she know it was actually an impromptu job interview.

Jess delicately poured out two cups of black tea before placing one in front of Lena.  The CEO offered her a smile in thanks and wriggled her flour covered fingers as a sign that she needed to wash her hands first.  When Lena finally joined Jess back in her seat at the kitchen island, the young Chinese woman had a deep frown set on her features.

“You ok, Jess?”

“You hired me to be your secretary but you still let me run different code algorithms in my downtime.  Literally one of my job requirements is to try and hack our security systems and then fix it!”

Lena smiled over the rim of her cup at Jess.

“Would you prefer I relegate you to exclusively answering the phone and dealing with ignorant business people looking to puff up their feathers at me?”

Jess scoffed at the mere idea of such inane work.

“You can if you want to find a new secretary.”

The brunette chuckled at the sassy retort.

“Well, the job is yours as long as you’ll have it, Jess.”

“I’m definitely not going anywhere so you’re stuck with me, Ms. Luthor.”

“Just my luck that I’m trapped with you then.”

“It’d be bad luck if you ask my parents.” Jess darkly muttered into her cup.  She hadn’t meant for Lena to hear but it was hard not to considering Lena was sitting right next to her.

“Jess…” Lena softly called out as she carefully placed her hand on Jess’ forearm.  “You are more than your family’s expectations.  What you do and what you’re passionate about _is_ meaningful and valued, regardless of what others may say.”

The secretary sniffed back her tears and sent Lena a thankful smile.

“You too, Ms. Luthor.  You’ve become more than the stigma of your last name and shown the world that you’re willing to stand for good.”

Lena playfully kicked Jess’ calf muscle with her foot and the two shared a smile.

“Thank you for believing in me, Jess.  I honestly don’t know how I could’ve managed coming to National City and rebranding the company to L-Corp without you.”

“Well, that is what you pay me for, Ms. Luthor.”

“It’s Lena.”

Jess’ eyebrows shot up in shock.

“M-Ms. Luth—”

“Please, Jess, I think you’ve earned the right to call me by my first name. I always call you by yours.”

“Actually, my full name is Jessica.”  Lena dramatically rolled her eyes before levelling a lighthearted smile at the other woman.  “But I _guess_ it’s ok that you call me, Jess.”

“So glad to have your permission, Ms. Leung.”

Jess brushed her nails against her chest before casually blowing on them.

“It’s fine.  I guess it’s hard being so humble sometimes.”

Lena guffawed at the display and pushed at Jess’ shoulders.  Jess took one look at Lena and immediately shared in her laughter.

“You know,” Jess started as she wiped an errant tear of laughter from her eye, “I’m still going to call you Ms. Luthor at work.  It’d be too weird not to.”

Huffing at the other woman’s stubbornness, Lena conceded that it would be compromise enough.

“So,” Jess dragged out the word, “I haven’t seen much of that reporter lately.”

“You mean Kara?”  The moment Lena said her name, she immediately knew she walked right into a trap with the way Jess’ eyes glittered.

“Oh, so Ms. Danvers is on a first name basis with you?”

Heat coursed through Lena’s cheeks, she cursed her pale complexion at broadcasting her embarrassment so easily.

“She’s my only friend in National City.  Of course she’s allowed to call me by my first name.”  Lena grabbed the tea pot to pour herself another cup, staunchly avoiding the teasing eyebrow Jess arched her way.  The younger woman hummed thoughtfully as she sipped from her own mug.  Unnerved by the skepticism radiating off of her secretary, Lena decided to bite the bullet.

“What, Jess?  Am I not allowed to have friends?”

Jess raised her hands in mock surrender.

“I didn’t say that, Ms. L—“ Her words faltered at the sharp glare. “Lena.” Jess managed to finish lamely.

“What’s with the skeptical tone then?”

“Well, she’s the only one you’ve cleared with security and me to let walk right into your office.”

“Is that such an issue?”

Jess just stared at her.

“Your mother doesn’t even have that type of clearance.”

Lena bit the inside of her cheek.  What Jess was saying was true…even Lillian Luthor was made to wait impatiently outside her office doors until Lena was able to see her, but Kara Danvers was free to waltz into her office whenever without a single security officer blinking an eye, even though she was part of the media.  Seeing Lena struggle with this new revelation, Jess finished her cup of tea and picked up the next blank wrap and the knife she used to grab portions of the ground pork to keep making wontons.  Lena quietly stewed in her thoughts as Jess diligently kept working.

“I think I might’ve come on a bit strong and ruined my friendship with Kara.”

Jess made sure to keep her eyes focused on what her hands were doing, knowing that if she were to look at Lena right now, she would undoubtedly freak out and clam up about her feelings.  Jess knew that Lena was skittish to talk about her feelings, especially since Lillian Luthor despised those who were weak of heart and anything having to do with being emotional.  Years later as an adult, Lena was still fighting against the harsh upbringing of the Luthors.

“Why do you think that, Lena?”

The brunette fidgeted nervously for a moment before picking up her own utensil and starting on another wonton.

“She came in making up some excuse about a puff piece on powerful women and the mother’s that molded them.  Pretty sure she was lying to me so I panicked and lied too.  Said I had a meeting that I forgot about.”  Lena bit her cheek at the memory and the following exchange she had with Lillian.  “I’m afraid she knew I was lying.  She hasn’t come see me, respond to any of my texts, or answer her door whenever I’ve stopped by since.”

“You know where she lives?”

“ _Jess._ ”

“Right, sorry, that’s not important.”  The look on Jess’ face said the complete opposite though.  Lena cleared her throat, willing the embarrassed flush creeping onto her ears to go away.

“Anyways,” Lena tried again, “She’s been avoiding me and I think it’s because I’ve been a bit desperate in trying to make a lasting friendship with her.”

“To be honest, Lena, Ms. Danvers doesn’t seem to be the type of person who would be put off by someone wanting to be friends with her.”

“She probably is if that person’s mother was the headliner of every news outlet about how she’s the head of the anti-alien organization, Cadmus.” Muttered Lena bitterly.

Jess breathed in deeply.  That was…quite the fiasco once that news came to light.  She had to coordinate a six man security detail for Lena every time she left the top floor of L-Corp to avoid being eaten alive by the paparazzi.  It had been two weeks and luckily it seemed that the media were starting to get bored and sniff elsewhere, but amongst them, a sunny blonde reporter was nowhere to be found.

“I really…enjoy Kara’s company.  Leave it to my mother’s xenophobic maliciousness to push away people in my life.” Lena aggressively scooped a teaspoon of pork and all but threw it into the wonton wrapper in her left hand.  “She always manages to find a way to push people that I care about out of my life.”

Biting her lip, Jess furtively looked up at the angry scowl on Lena’s face.  She was worried about bringing up this certain point but the atmosphere between the two at the moment was a safe space, she didn’t want Lena to feel as if she was alone in dealing with her demons.

“Are you referring to Ms. Roth?”

Lena froze.

“You remember her?”

“Of course, I was the one that booked your dates.”

“T-They weren’t dates!” Spluttered Lena.  “We were just meeting up as friends and—”

“Remember that falling out you two had where she had said you were just like your mother?”  Lena bristled at the memory but mutely nodded.  “She sent a lovely bouquet of white and pink carnations.  I may not be an expert in flower language but even I know what that means.”

Lena felt her ears and cheeks burn.

“So…you know?”

Jess nodded her head.

“And that doesn’t freak you out some?”

“Of course not.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Jess scraped the sides of the mixing bowl with her knife, cognizant of the nervous energy Lena was radiating.  She kept her movements methodical and her eyes focused on gathering up the correct amount onto her butter knife.

“I know when to be discreet.  It’s something you wanted to keep private and I respected that.”

“Thank you, Jess.” Lena murmured.  They spent a few moments quietly making wontons together before Lena decided to ask the question that she was burning to ask.

“Do you think it’s wrong that I like women?”

“No, it’s not.  Wishing that you were someone else to feel better about this side of yourself that you’re rejecting is painful.  For a long time I was made fun of because of the way my eyes are shaped.  I used to pray at night that I would wake up and be Caucasian…it took me a long time to accept that this is the way I was born.  Once I embraced that truth, I felt like this huge weight was lifted off my chest and I felt more confident living as me.”  Jess shot Lena a comforting smile.  “You don’t need to hide yourself away or reject that side of you, Lena.  You’re a caring and intelligent woman.  There’s nothing wrong with you.”

Lena’s bottom lip trembled at Jess’ soft acceptance.  She spent her whole life in fear that living openly as a gay woman would wreck her career and friendships.  Imagining what Lillian would have said if Lena had come out to her…the whispers behind her back from the investors speculating about her personal life.  The only other person she told was Lex and when he offered her unwavering support and understanding, Lena had cried like a baby in his arms, relieved that at least someone in that cold family loved her for who she was.  Now, years later and her own secretary had known and respected Lena’s desire to keep that part of herself hidden.  How was she so lucky to have found such an understanding person in her life?

“Hey,” Jess lightly called, poking Lena with her toe.  “It’s a new year and you came to National City for a fresh start.  You don’t have to rush into doing anything that you’re uncomfortable with.  Just…be gentle with yourself.  You don’t need to put so much pressure on yourself.  If you feel like things are too much, I’m here for you.  It’s no trouble.”

Spinning her chair so that her back was facing Jess, Lena balled her hands into fists, slowly released them, and repeated this process a few more times, hoping to control the burning at the back of her eyes.  She could hear Jess continuing to work behind her, no doubt nearing the end of the food preparations.  Sucking in a shaky breath, Lena peeked over her shoulder.

“Jess…why did you invite me over?  The only time you take off each year is Chinese New Year’s Eve and Chinese New Year’s Day.”

Dusting her hands off on her apron, Jess leaned back against her chair.

“The day before Chinese New Year’s is the most important because it’s meant for family to get together and have a huge feast to ring in a better new year.”

Lena stiffened in her seat.  Jess unwaveringly held her gaze.  She didn’t mean that Lena was…did she?

“I was the best programmer in Luthor Corp but no one was willing to promote me into a role that better fit my skill set until you came along.  People used to laugh at me being demoted to a secretary until _someone_ leaked that my salary was higher than the head of programming at Luthor Corp.”  Jess meaningfully looked at Lena, who had spun her chair back around to face the younger woman.  “I followed you from Metropolis all the way to National City.  You managed to see my worth and you’ve always looked out for me.  With everything that happened between you and Ms. Roth, I flat out lied to your mother multiple times because I knew you weren’t ready for her to know.  We protect each other, Lena.  We’re family.”

She couldn’t handle it.  Lena started to cry, soft hiccups of broken breaths as she cried as silently as Lillian had forced her to when she was growing up.  Hand covering her eyes from seeing Jess’ reaction to seeing her boss cry, Lena let the sobs come.  How else was Lena supposed to react to someone calling her family and genuinely meaning it?  All her life she yearned for someone to see her as she truly is and love her regardless, then in came Jessica Leung with her clever mind, smart remarks, and unwavering loyalty.  She was so worried that she was alone and friendless but she had Jess.  Her words rang true…they were each other’s family, despite Lena being adopted and Jess’ parents being disappointed in her.  This is how Lena managed to move her entire company to a completely different city and succeed in rebranding it—it’s because she had Jess.

“Y’know, it’s bad luck to cry in front of food, Ms. Luthor.”

Lena gargled a laugh and blindly pushed out at the other woman.

“God, Jess, I’m trying to pull myself together and you’re being _awful_ about it.”

Jess grinned at the soft chuckles from her boss.  Slipping off her bar chair, Jess slipped her arms around Lena and pulled her into a hug.  One hand still covering her eyes, Lena clutched the back of Jess’ shirt with her other hand and let the rest of her sobs shake her body.  Resting her cheek against Lena’s dark tresses, Jess offered the quiet comfort of her embrace as Lena rode out her tears.  Feeling the quaking of her sobs start to ebb, Lena loosened the fisted material of Jess’ shirt and offered her a quick set of pats to indicate that she had finally finished.  Jess gingerly sat back in her seat next to Lena.

“You got flour all over my dress.”

“Well you also got flour all over your forehead, boss.”

The brunette smiled through her tears and bumped her knee against Jess.

“Rude.”

Jess merely laughed and gave Lena’s thigh an affectionate pat.

“So, Ms. Luthor, do you have any resolutions for the new lunar year?”

“Well,” Lena dragged the word out. “Since you know of my massive crush on a very cute bespectacled reporter, I’m going to go for it and see if Kara would be interested in me enough to go on a date.”

“I think that’s a very good new year’s resolution!”

“Do you have resolutions of your own?”

Jess leaned back against her chair and slowly spun from side to side, staring up at her ceiling.

“Just keep working on being happy with myself and see if there’s a future with Jordan.”

Lena sniffled one last time and offered Jess her most encouraging smile.

“He’s lucky to have you.”

“Damn right he is!  Now, c’mon.  I managed to finish making the rest of the food.  Let’s have some dinner and test out our delicious hard work!”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

As Jess loaded the last of the dirty bowls into the dishwasher, Lena pour them both a fresh cup of tea. 

“Well, I hope you had a good time tonight.  Thanks for spending Chinese New Year’s Eve with me.”

Lena smiled warmly through the steam wafting up from her mug.  “Not a problem, Jess.  Dinner was delicious and I’m glad I didn’t botch those wontons as bad as I thought.”  She poked Jess playfully with her foot.  “Thank you for inviting me over.  God knows I’d probably still be stuck at L-Corp working and trying to dodge the paparazzi outside my office.”

She glanced up at the digital numbers displayed on the microwave, it was well past midnight.

“Well, I should head home and maybe try and relax this weekend.  Catch up on sleep and maybe veg out on my couch.”

The duo chatted amicably as Jess walked Lena to the door.  Zipping up her coat, Lena turned to face Jess and dug around in her purse.  Confused, Jess watched in amazement when Lena pulled out a familiar envelope and held it out to her.

“Happy Chinese New Year’s, Jess.”

Mouth open in shock, Jess tentatively reached out at the red pocket Lena was holding.

“You got me a _hong bao_?”

Lena warmed at the incredulousness and awe in Jess’ voice.

“Of course!  You’re my family, why wouldn’t I know what to give you on such an important day?”

Jess lunged at Lena and gave her the biggest hug.  Surprised at the sudden movement, Lena wobbled unsteadily on her heels as she tried to deal with an armful of happy Jess.  When they finally managed to pry themselves apart from each other, Jess had tears in the corner of her eyes as she held the red packet against her chest.

“What is it?” Teased Lena.

Jess reverently traced her fingers over the Chinese letter on her hong bao, smiling softly to herself before meeting Lena’s green eyes.

“Since I graduated from university, my parents stopped giving these to me.”

Lena smiled gently at the young Chinese woman and stepped forward for another hug.  Regardless of Jess’ petite size, she could definitely pack a strong hug.  Jess smiled into Lena’s shoulder, touched and surprised by the utter thoughtfulness of Lena.

They were each other’s family and this is what family did.  They supported, loved, and looked after one another, even if that meant learning about another culture and remembering something as small as giving out the traditional hong bao.

“It’s going to be a good year, Lena.”

The brunette squeezed back.

“With us as a team—definitely.”

 


	2. White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's back from her extended trip and offers a moment for Lena and her to catch up. Unfortunately, Lena's been struggling with how to calmly agree and pounds the alarm for Jess to help her. Tentative plans are made but everything goes to hell late at night.
> 
> If it wasn't for Jess and Lena's psychopath of a brother, Lena would have never gathered the courage to ask out Kara.
> 
> With the way Lena ended her morning, it really was turning out to be a good year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter for you, babes. Let's get this good time over with!

Re-branding a business linked to two xenophobic psychopaths?  Easy.  Dealing with investors and board members who didn’t think she was qualified to lead L-Corp into a different direction?  Frustrating, but manageable.  Making long-term friendships with others who actually cared about her?  Difficult at best.  Figuring out how to respond to Kara Danvers’ text message?  Impossible.

*******

> **[From: Kara Danvers]**
> 
> **2:29 PM**
> 
> I’m soooooo sorry about missing all your calls and not texting back!!!  Family emergency came up and Eliza needed me in Midvale. :ccc I definitely want to meet and catch up!! Let me know what works best for you!  Sorry again for being the worst, Lena. :CCC

*******

The brunette let out a long suffering sigh.  She had received Kara’s text over four hours ago and she still could not think of a proper way to respond that didn’t sound either angry, accusatory, or clingy.  She was a Luthor for god sakes!  Since when were Luthor’s master navigators at feelings?  One only had to look at her upbringing to know that her entire family was stunted when it came to dealing with their emotions.  God forbid she try to write something out and it come off completely belligerent and somehow upset Kara.

“This is what I get for taking an interest in someone…” grumbled Lena under her breath.  Legs delicately crossed under her pristine white desk, Lena bounced her top leg, heel loosely hanging onto the tips of her toes.  Kara was a bit of a klutz and always seemed to be in a rush, but it made sense since her boss at CatCo tended to send her all over the city to chase down lukewarm leads.  Whenever they were together and Kara needed to immediately leave, she would spout some ridiculous excuse and then flake on their plans, but in her defence, Kara always made sure to apologize the very next day with her sad puppy eyes and hopeful pout.  It’s not like Kara wasn’t genuine about her apologies and now that Lena knew her sister worked for the government, it made more sense why Kara would rush off at odd moments to presumably check on her sister.

Glaring over at her phone, Lena bit the inside of her cheek before conceding that she needed help and buzzed for Jess.

“ _Ms. Luthor?”_

“I need your assistance with something, Jess.  Can you please come in?”  Lena waited to hear Jess’ disembodied voice respond but a moment later her secretary walked into her office, tablet in hand.

“What did you need help with?” Jess asked as she approached Lena’s desk.  Holding her thumb over the fingerprint scanner to turn her cellphone screen on, Lena spun her phone around and slid it towards her secretary.  Curious, Jess moved to pick up the phone but hesitated.

“May I?”

Lena impatiently waved her hand.  She anxiously awaited as Jess’ eyes quickly darted across the lines of text.

“Did you call me in here to help you compose a _text message_ to Ms. Danvers?”

Lena’s eye twitched.  Polite business smile firmly stretched onto her lips, she managed to grit out a ‘yes’ between clenched teeth.  Jess looked between her boss and the jumbled text message a few times.  Those few precious seconds of silence from Jess resulted in Lena sweating underneath the collar of her blouse—it was just a damn text message!  It was Jess’ job to help compose messages for Lena, there was no reason for her to feel so embarrassed and nervous about her secretary’s silence.  Jess’ eyes casually flitted to the side with a ghost of a smirk barely on her lips before she met Lena’s eyes again.

“Good to know Ms. Danvers is fluent in emoji.  Did you need me to help translate this into English?”

“I am the CEO of a multi-billion dollar technology company, I managed just fine.” Lena responded drily.

“So then, what do you need my expertise for?  Want me to translate proper English into excessive use of emoji’s and extraneous punctuation so she’s better able to understand you?”

“ _Jess._ ” The Chinese woman cocked an eyebrow at her boss in anticipation.  “I don’t know how to respond.” Lena muttered.

“I didn’t quite catch that, Ms. L—”

“It’s been hours and I can’t figure out what to say back to her!”

This time, Jess couldn’t hold back her amusement and grinned at her flustered boss.  Lena’s cheeks had taken on a soft pink hue in light of her embarrassed outburst.  If Lillian were here, she’d lecture Lena on the importance of keeping a cool façade at all times.

“Well, what would you like to express to Ms. Danvers?”

The CEO started to fiddle with one of her fountain pens as she rolled it under her palm, contemplating her answer.

“I’d like to calmly let her know that I hope things are going well with her adoptive mother and that I would be happy to spend time with her…without sounding like a…” Lena awkwardly waved her hand around, fishing for the right word.

“Hot, pining gay mess?”

Lena glowered at her.  Normally the Luthor glare was quite potent but the bright blush colouring Lena’s ears lessened the effect.  Deciding to back off, Jess silently took a seat, placed her tablet down on her lap, and turned her attention back to Lena, thumbs poised above the phone’s keyboard.

“As you’ve so eloquently said, I don’t want to come off as bashful and eager.  This needs to sound nonchalant and inviting.  Maybe see if Kara would be willing to meet for coffee tomorrow after my meeting with the R&D department at noon?”

Jess nodded her head in understanding as her thumbs slowly tapped out a response.

If Lena was honest with herself, she _was_ a hot, pining gay mess.  Kara was the only other woman that she had romantically pursued after Rachel Roth.  In that situation, Rachel had been the one to drop hints and eventually ask Lena out, all Lena had to do was smile and agree to the date.  Rachel was dark smoky eyes, pale skin, and delightfully dry humour.  She wasn’t one to unnecessarily blabber on just to fill silence and she was empathetic to the point that she could sense the moment Lena’s mood would shift towards something darker and manage to successfully redirect her.  They made quite the pair, both well-read, powerful, and intelligent ladies who had family issues and preferred comfortable silence over unnecessary chatter.  Compared to Kara, Lena must have been out of her mind to do a complete 180 and want to be with someone who was the absolute opposite of her previous (sort of) girlfriend.

“What do you think, Ms. Luthor?” Jess slid her smartphone across the desk to her.  Picking up the device, Lena held her breath as she read the draft.  Quickly reading over the message three more times, Lena nodded her head in acceptance and clicked the send button.

“Thank you, Jess.”  Her secretary nodded her head as she rose to leave.  “Don’t you dare mention this to Jordan when you get home…or anyone for that matter!”

Tilting her head in a playful manner, Jess’ lips twitched as she struggled to keep her face in a neutral expression.

“Tell me when Ms. Danvers responds so I can ensure you have enough time for your date~” she sang out the last word at the flustered CEO.  Spluttering, Lena shot up onto her feet, mouth open to chastise her amused secretary when her phone beeped with a new message.  Teeth clacking together at how quickly she closed her mouth, Lena impatiently waited for the device to register her fingerprint.  Jess quietly waited.  Lena exhaled a soft sigh of relief at her phone.  At the sight of a warm smile on Lena’s face, Jess felt herself mimic the same happy expression.

“Jess, please make sure I’m free at 1PM tomorrow.”

Picking up her tablet, Jess quickly accessed Lena’s schedule and started typing in the new appointment.

“Will you be leaving the building?  You have a conference call with the L-Corp Melbourne division at 3.”

The brunette worried at her lip, eyes trained on Kara’s newest message.

“I’ll host Kara here.  Do you think it’s possible to get a delivery from Noonan’s?  If they aren’t willing to deliver, send out Fayad to pick up the order.”

Jess quirked a skeptical eyebrow at her boss.

“You want head of security to go pick up an order of coffee?”

“Those coffees need to arrive here safe and sound.”

Jess rolled her eyes in disbelief.

“Don’t worry about it.  _I’ll_ go pick up the coffee order.”

“Thank y—”

“But I’m getting myself a coffee too and I’m putting it on the company p-card.”

Lena slowly lowered herself back down into her seat, all the while maintaining unwavering eye contact with Jess, channelling her Luthor coldness.  Jess didn’t even blink.

“An iced grande solo caramel macchiato with light ice and extra caramel drizzle for you and a grande vanilla latté for myself.  Do you know what Ms. Danvers would like?”

“I want two shots of espresso in my beverage, Jess.”

“You’ll get a headache if you have that much caffeine after lunch.  The sugar boost from the caramel will be enough to get you through the conference call and won’t hinder your productivity.”

Jess’ expression dared Lena to disagree with her accurate assessment.  Huffing at Jess’ quiet confidence at knowing Lena so well, the CEO turned her attention towards her phone, swiftly asking Kara for her order.

“To think I’ve bred such arrogance in a once humble programmer.”

“I work for the most powerful woman in all of the western hemisphere.  I have to be arrogant to keep up with you.”  Lena pretended to shake her head in disappointment at Jess while her secretary blew her a kiss.  Phone vibrating a few seconds later, Lena rattled off the order to Jess who quickly typed it down.

“It’s advised that you take at least half an hour to prep for the conference call.  You won’t have time beforehand to go over the reports they’ll be emailing later this evening.”

“I can do it in fifteen minutes.”

Lips turning downwards, Jess shook her head.

“That won’t be enough time.  Their report will be lengthy and—”

“Jessica Leung.”  Jess’ back straightened at the commanding tone.  Lena leaned back in her chair and spread her arms out delicately.  “I’m a well-known genius that was adopted into another family of geniuses.  I can do it in fifteen.”

Jess’ jaw flexed in a moment of defiance before the rest of her facial features relaxed.

“Of course, Ms. Luthor.  Would you like me to buzz you to remind you of the conference call or would you prefer I walk in?”

“Walk in is fine.  You can bring me a hard copy of the reports when you do.”

She nodded her head in confirmation.  Shifting her weight between her feet, Jess hesitated before clearing her throat.

“Be careful, Lena.”

Lena leaned forward on her desk.

“Careful of what?”

“Carelessness around someone you don’t really know could result in a tipping point for L-Corp.  We just managed to stabilize the company here in National City.”

Irked, Lena glared down her friend.

“An unnecessary reminder, Ms. Leung.”

Jess didn’t budge.

“Just looking out for your well-being, Lena.  I know how torn up you were when Ms. Danvers gave you radio silence these past few weeks.”

Biting her cheek, Lena silently admitted to herself that Jess had a point.  If she examined her own reaction to finally hearing back from Kara, it was nothing short of a teenage girl with a massive crush.  This type of behaviour was unflattering for someone bearing the Luthor name.

“I get it, Jess.  Make sure to come in at the twenty minute mark so I have time to wrap things up with Kara.”  The young woman’s tense shoulders sagged in relief.  She was grateful that Lena had decided to take her advice, she had seen how Lena had become when she was with Rachel and if Jess wasn’t so good at her job, Lena’s sloppiness would have cost her, her CEO position.  With Rachel, Lena had gotten a bit too comfortable that she started to take her calls and respond to Rachel’s texts on her business cell, which was hooked up to Luthorcorp’s network, which meant that everything that Lena said or wrote was recorded and monitored.  Jess had to pull longer shifts and VPN from her home to make sure she wiped all records of Lena’s exchanges with Rachel from the Luthorcorp network before prying eyes could ruin Lena’s career.  When Lillian had become suspicious of Lena’s shift in mood, she had descended on Jess like death itself and grilled her for information about a suspicious woman the paparazzi managed to snap a photo of Lena with.  The next couple months the Luthor matriarch showed up to ‘politely chat’ with Jess was the most nerve-racking experience of her life.  To say she was sweating like a hooker in church was an understatement.  Lillian Luthor was an insidious force of nature, able to seep into the cracks of one’s foundation, and rip everything apart until there was nothing left.  Lena was happy and was tentatively exploring her new relationship, she was still heavily closeted and didn’t need Lillian’s aggressive homophobia to swoop in and crush her one source of joy.

Shutting Lena’s heavy office doors behind her, Jess gradually made her way back to her desk.  Lena was right that she was a genius—there was no doubt about that, but there was doubt about how well Lena could manage a blossoming interest in someone while being able to properly manage her company that she had poured her blood, sweat, and tears into.  Hopefully, all Lena needed was a reminder to try and balance the two and everything would turn out ok.

Jess began arranging a prayer circle out of her paper clips.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

 

Nervousness gnawed low in Lena’s belly.  Jess had gone home a few hours ago, but not before reminding Lena of her busy schedule that started at 7AM the next morning and suggesting that Lena head home early.  The stubborn CEO had waved off her friend’s concern and absentmindedly muttered that she would leave after she finished making adjustments to the proposal in her hands.  It was nearing one in the morning and Lena was no closer to finishing the document, her thoughts kept straying to tomorrow and her impending meeting with Kara after two weeks of silence.  She was stressed out.  Would Kara want a hug after so long or would that be weird coming from Lena?  They haven’t hugged before so maybe Kara would be freaked out if Lena initiated a hug.  A handshake?  No, that was too formal and cold.  If she did that, Kara would think Lena was mad at her or didn’t really see her as a friend, which is the complete opposite of what Lena wanted to express.

“Urgh!” Lena pushed herself away from her desk.  Spinning around in her chair, Lena stared out at the cityscape from her large floor to ceiling windows.  She was thinking herself in circles.  This was just a nice coffee meeting between friends…it wasn’t a real date or anything.  She hasn’t seen her friend in a few weeks and wanted to see Kara’s pretty blue eyes up close and smile over warm coffee as they sat close to one another on the couch and—

Her office doors burst open with a bang.

Startled, Lena swivelled around in time to see a hulking man dressed in all black with red goggles and a mask over the lower half of his face barge into her office.  Eyes wide, she quickly slammed her hand on the panic button underneath her desk and silently prayed that the police would arrive quickly.

“Lena Luthor.” A distorted voice growled out as he reached into his coat and pulled out a truncheon.  Flicking his arm down, the baton’s expandable compartments clicked out violently into place.  Lena gripped the emergency pistol under her chair and quickly stood up.  In two large steps, the mercenary grabbed her pristine white desk and flung it to the side.  Terrified, Lena pulled her chair in front of her and kicked it towards her assailant.  He didn’t even grunt when he back handed it out of his way.

“I suppose Lex sent you?” Lena coldly asked, gun aimed at the behemoth.  Even though her heart was hammering out of her rib cage, Lena’s arms didn’t shake as she steadily pointed the muzzle at the man’s head.

“He regrets he couldn’t pay you a visit, so he asked me to come in his stead.”  In a flash, the mercenary swung out and knocked the gun out of Lena’s hands.  Defenceless, she quickly backed up but he rushed in and swung again, hitting her brutally in the ribs.  Blinded by the sudden pain in her side, she staggered backwards until her left heel landed at an awkward angle and twisted underneath her.  She collapsed in a painful heap.  This wasn’t good.  She was on her back, ankle twisted, and nursing a few broken ribs without anything to defend herself with.  Her assailant loomed over her a moment, before easily clicking the baton back into its collapsed state and hiding it back in his dark trench coat.  Lena’s breath hitched as one of his meaty hands clamped around her throat.

“Not so powerful now, are you?”

Grim determination flooded Lena’s features as she gripped his hand and tried to twist him off of her.  He pulled Lena up for a brief dizzying moment before brutally slamming her back down onto the hard tile.  Lena’s breathing was laboured as she blinked the static from her eyes.  Where the hell were the police??  It felt like she had called them forever ago.

The mercenary cruelly laughed at the sudden disorientation in Lena’s eyes.  He started for Lena’s balcony, dragging her across the floor while she weakly struggled to lessen the iron grip crushing her throat.  Before she knew it, cool air rushed to her heated face as sweat poured from her forehead as she struggled to stay conscious, and suck in as much air as she could.  His red goggles gleamed with National City’s night lights.  Nearing the edge of the balcony, he hoisted her up with one arm and held her out past the safety railing.  Lena’s eyes widened in sheer terror as she struggled with renewed effort, nails trying to claw beneath leather gloves and bulky forearm armour.  With her uninjured foot, Lena desperately kicked out at his arm, his torso, his legs—anywhere in hopes that it would weaken his grip enough to let her break his hold on her throat.  Her struggles were futile as he casually held her out above the city streets, cold winter air whipping around her and throwing her dark locks about.

They stayed like that for an impossible minute.  Lena feeling her consciousness grow fuzzy as she continued to try and break free.  One of her heels slipped and plummeted below.  She grit her teeth at the sudden image of her following and ending up an unlucky splatter of blood and bones on the cold concrete beneath her.

“Lex wishes that his dear sister would have visited him at least once in jail.  A pity.  He sends his regards.”

“Go…to…hell.”

He tsked at her bravado.

“He’ll see you there.”

Then, he let go.

Lena screamed her newly released throat raw, as she plunged towards the concrete sidewalk that was rapidly rushing to meet her.  Arms flailing uselessly to try and slow her descent, she tumbled gracelessly through the air as she sobbed in fear at how painful her death would be.  Her damn family had finally succeeded in destroying itself.  Her own brother managed to successfully send out a hit man to kill her and all the police would find, when they finally arrived, would be her DNA splattered across the front entrance of L-Corp.

Suddenly, a blur of red and blue appeared and she felt a warm hand supporting the back of her neck and a strong arm looped under her knees.  The sudden warmth in her right side shocked her back to the present.  Eyes darting around, she noticed the bold S emblem she was pressed against and the soft arms that cradled her close.  Lena blinked again and was suddenly surrounded by two paramedics and a policewoman.  Disorientated at feeling solid asphalt underneath her, Lena blearily looked around, trying to reorient herself.  One of the paramedics firmly grasped her shoulder and waved a gloved hand in front of her face.  She slowly shifted her eyes to look at him, watching in fascination as his lips formed soundless words.  She blinked sluggishly at him.  What did he say?

“—uthor?  Ms. Luthor, where are you hurt?  Can you—”

“What’s going on?” Lena slurred, confused at being able to suddenly hear the EMT.  Gun shots rang loud in the night air and Lena tilted her head upwards.  A moment later, the distinct sound of glass shattering could be heard from above.

“Everybody take cover!” One of the policemen shouted.  Everything was a sudden flurry of movement as people rushed into their cars, the EMT that was speaking to Lena hurriedly curled his body on top of her.  There was an abrupt gust of wind before another shadow was cast over her.  Still in a stupor, Lena felt as though she was outside of her body witnessing in slow motion as sharp pieces of glass shattered around her on the pavement like rain, but curiously enough, none of them touched her.  Fascinated, her hand twitched.  She wanted to reach out and touch them, to experience what it felt like in that split second just before it kissed solid earth in such a violent and abrupt way.  The dark shadows that engulfed her moved back once the morbid shower of glass ceased and her hand dropped.

“Thank you, Supergirl.”

“Just take care of Ms. Luthor.  I’ll be back.”

With a burst of air, the heroine was gone, back up to the top floor of L-Corp.  The other EMT was suddenly on the other side of Lena as they both hoisted her onto a stretcher and loaded her into the ambulance.  The man from earlier, who had protected Lena, banged twice on the side of the ambulance and with a sudden blare of sirens too loud for Lena, they were speeding off.  She tried to keep focused on the voices swimming around her as one of the paramedics talked to her and flashed a bright light into her eyes, his thumb holding her eyelid from closing, while the other paramedic gently prodded her throbbing ankle.  The sounds of the ambulance sirens, the paramedics’ voices, and the sound of traffic all bled together until it was a muted symphony.  She wanted to stay awake but her body felt so heavy, she couldn’t even keep her eyes open!  Tired from the effort of blinking, Lena closed her eyes, relieved to escape the bright lights and succumbed to sleep, the image of glass shattering around her flickering behind her eyes.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

Soft beeping greeted Lena as she slowly waded her way back to consciousness.  Cracking her eyes open, she blearily took in her surroundings.  She slowly registered the sight of a sterile white room with dimmed lights and a soft, yet rhythmic beeping to her right.  Trying to prop herself up, she scrunched her face up and groaned at the sharp pang of pain blossoming from her side and let her lead limbs drag her back into the comfort of her pillows.

“Lena?”

She recognized that voice.  Lolling her head to the left, Lena forced her eyes open again.  The sight of a distressed Jessica Leung greeted Lena.  Jess shot up from her chair and was at Lena’s side in a heartbeat, hands clutching at the sleeve of Lena’s hospital gown.  Blinking the haze of pain slowly from her vision, Lena took in her friend’s appearance.  She was in a well-worn grey t-shirt with black sweat pants, dark hair hastily put up into a messy bun with strands of flyaways clinging to her face, and worry etched deep into her features.

“Jess?” Lena croaked.  The Chinese woman immediately hushed Lena, hand coming to rest lightly over her lips.  In the dim light, Lena could see the faint remnants of tear tracks down the younger girl’s face, as fresh tears gleamed in her eyes.

“I need you to be quiet and not talk.  If you understand me blink twice.”

Lena did as she was told.  Jess sighed in relief, pulled her hand away, and gently rested them against Lena’s left forearm.

“You were at L-Corp working when a hired mercenary Lex sent attacked you.”

A…mercenary?  She jolted at the memory.  The sharp pain of twisting her ankle, thick fingers squeezing her throat, the sudden weightlessness of dangling hundreds of feet in the air with nothing between her and smashing against the pavement.  Her breath hitched as she started gasping, a loud beeping erratically started up at the same time next to her.  Soft hands firmly pushed at her shoulders, she thrashed against them, desperate to free herself from being choked again.

“Ms. Luthor! Ms. Luthor!” The voice kept calling out but Lena wasn’t going to be fooled.  The mercenary had a voice distorter on the mask he wore, he could’ve easily changed it to sound more innocent so she would be more cooperative with dying.

“ _LENA!_ ”

The sudden shout cut through the panicked fog in her mind.  Eyes darting towards the source of the sound, emerald met mahogany.  Jess gently pushed Lena to lean back into her pillows, softly shushing her with soothing noises and reassurances that she was safe.  Lena’s pupils were blown out in fear.  Jess turned to quickly dip a napkin into her cup of water, she then carefully dabbed at the cold sweat that pebbled Lena’s forehead.  The staccato beeping from earlier settled down into something more soothing.  Lena took in a deep, shaky breath and closed her eyes, focusing on the relaxing motion of Jess’ ministrations.

“You’re at the hospital, Lena.  Shhh, shhh…don’t worry, you’re safe.  Supergirl saved you and helped the police apprehend the mercenary.”

The cool napkin was pulled away from Lena’s skin.  Opening her eyes again, Lena took in the bedraggled and haggard appearance of her friend and weakly reached up to grab her hand.  Sniffling, the younger woman delicately clasped Lena’s left hand between hers, careful not to jostle the splinted fingers.

“Thank fuck you hit the panic alarm when you did.  I’m pretty sure you knocked ten years off my lifespan when I got the distress call to my phone.”  She shifted one of her hands to Lena’s forearm and gently squeezed.  “The merc really did a number on you.  You have two broken ribs, a twisted ankle, hairline fractures in both your left index and middle finger, a concussion, and there’s bruising around your throat.  You…he did all of this before he threw you off the building.  Ms. Luthor…Lena, you’re lucky to be alive right now.”

Jess sunk back into the cheap plastic hospital chair and cried into the mattress.  She clutched desperately to Lena’s arm.  The brunette shut her eyes, feeling the different muted throbs all over her body.

“’m I on painkillers?” Lena scratchily whispered.

“Lena!” Jess’ head shot up, tears rolling fat down her cheeks.  “I told you not to talk!”

Lena’s eyebrows crumpled into an apologetic look.  Rubbing hastily at her cheeks, Jess took in a shuddering breath.

“And to answer your question, yes, you’re on some pretty heavy sedatives.  The doctors have set your ribs and we’re waiting on the test results to see if there’s been any punctures to your lungs.  We’re not sure yet if there’s any surgery needed, but right now it looks like you won’t be needing it.”

Jess glared at Lena when she opened her mouth.  The younger woman reached into her purse and pulled out a tablet, flipping the cover so that it comfortably propped the tablet up, and carefully placed it in Lena’s lap.  The bed slowly angled itself up as Jess held down a button on the remote next to Lena’s head.  The brunette painstakingly typed her question out on the tablet with her right index finger.  Jess sighed when she read the question.

“Unfortunately, yes.  Four security guards were assaulted and one of them is still unconscious.  They’re all alive and sporting massive headaches from being knocked out but otherwise, they’re unhurt.  I’ve notified all their families.”

Lena frowned at the news but nodded her head.  Damn it.  Guilt washed over her at the thought of her security team being brutally taken down by the behemoth of a man.  What was she going to say to their families?

“Here,” Jess tapped her shoulder, “Take slow sips of this.”

Lena leaned forward, eager to wet her parched throat, but was confused when the glass of water was pulled further away.  Jess tiredly smiled at the betrayed look on Lena’s face.

“Did you hear me, boss? I said slowly.  It looked like you were going to headbutt the glass out of my hand.”

She offered Jess a sheepish smile.  This time, Lena did as she was told and slowly sipped small mouthfuls.  Every swallow of water was soothing but painful with each bob of her throat.  Noticing the grimace on Lena’s face, Jess pulled the cup away and put it on the bedside table.

“Take it easy, we’ve got a fluids drip in you.  You’ll be hydrated in no time.”  Jess’ jaw worked for a moment, trying to figure out the words she wanted to say.  “I’m relieved you’re ok, Lena.  I just wish your damn family would stop trying to ruin your life…”  Jess’ hands tightly clenched the bed sheets in her fists.  Typing as quickly as she could with her one functional hand, Lena made a noise at the back of her throat to get her friend’s attention.  Looking up towards the screen, Jess huffed an exasperated laugh at the ceiling and shook her head.

“I don’t think ‘punch them into space’ is an option for us, boss.  I’ll make sure to bribe Supergirl next time to see if she’d be down to help us with that goal though.”

Happy to see some of the stress lines around Jess’ mouth disappear, Lena typed out another message.

“I’ll head home right after I check in with the nurses station.  You’ll be here for at least another week.  I’ll rearrange all your appointments and work with the PR team to come up with a statement, so don’t worry.  Your job right now is to relax and get better.  I can delegate other tasks and keep L-Corp standing for your glorious return.  The security guards who were affected by tonight will also be well looked after and I’ll speak to their families on your behalf.”

Lena’s eyes shined with gratefulness.

“Before I head out and shake Jordan awake to drive me back home, you have a guest outside.”

Brows furrowing, Lena questioningly tilted her head at Jess.  With the rest of her family in jail and Jess being her sole emergency contact, there wasn't anyone else she could think of that would be here.  The younger girl chuckled at the perplexed look on her friend’s face.

“Do you feel up to communicating with someone else or would you rather rest?”

Lena fervently shook her head.

“Alright, alright.  Take it easy, queen.  I’ll tell her to come in.”  Jess paused before smirking at her boss, then leaned down to whisper conspiratorially, “try to keep your gay panic to a minimum, please.”

Eyes widening, Lena watched helplessly as Jess pressed a delicate kiss to her temple before disappearing out into the brightly lit hallway.  Lena nervously shifted as she strained her ears to hear the soft murmurs of conversation on the other side of the closed door.  The murmurs suddenly stopped and were replaced a moment later with soft raps against the door.   A blonde head poked out from the small crack of the opened door.  She was greeted with a tentative smile and shy wave.  After everything Lena went through, just the sight of Kara Danvers immediately made her night better.  Lena offered a small wave in return as the reporter fully stepped into the room, gingerly shutting the door behind her.  The reporter shuffled up next to Lena and worried at her lip, as her eyes quickly took stock of Lena’s condition.  Heart clenching at the sorrowful look on the normally sunny girl, Lena tapped out a message to Kara.

“Did Jess leave that here for you?”

Lena nodded her head.

“So thoughtful.” Kara uttered quietly.  Quickly scanning Lena’s finished message, Kara nervously fiddled with her glasses.  “Uhhh…Supergirl told me.  I—we…we’re friends so she knew I was planning to meet up with you for a date—well, like a meeting!  Y’know that coffee meeting we were going to have tomorrow?  Yeah!  So, she stopped by and uh, let me know about the situation and I came rushing over.”  The blonde awkwardly coughed before gesturing widely at the room, “And here I am.”

Kara silently examined the splinted fingers of Lena’s left hand.  A dark bruise could be seen creeping out from underneath the medical tape and blossoming out across Lena’s knuckles to colour half the back of her hand in dark purple and ugly maroon.  As if possessed, Kara softly ran her fingertips over the delicate line of tendons on the back of Lena’s hand.  Breath catching in her throat, Lena watched through hooded eyes at Kara’s relaxing caresses; both girls mesmerized at the sensation of the other.  After several long minutes of Kara stroking her hand, Lena sucked in a noisy breath through her nose, immediately regretting it with the way her side burned, and flipped her hand around.  Blinking in surprise, Kara furtively looked at Lena over the frame of her glasses and after seeing Lena’s tired smile, she hesitantly ran the pads of her fingers down Lena’s palm towards her arm.  She stopped at the tendons of her pale wrist and pressed more insistently to feel the steady pulse.

“Tickles…” murmured Lena.  Head shooting up, Kara gaped at the barely audible words.

“Lena!  Jess said the doctor put you on strict no talking orders.”  Although Lena couldn’t see the angry bruising along her throat, she could certainly still feel the ghostly imprints of an iron grip under the heavy blanket of pain medication, plus the way Kara staunchly kept her eyes from wandering below her chin must have meant it wasn’t pretty.

“Do you…do you want me to stop since it tickles?”

Lena faintly shook her head.  Kara playfully walked her fingers up Lena’s forearm to her shoulder and softly carded her fingers through Lena’s dark locks.  Eyes closing, Lena tilted her head into Kara’s touch and hummed happily.  Smiling tenderly at the sleepy droop of Lena’s own smile, Kara leaned down and pressed a warm kiss to the crown of the brunette’s head.

“You should sleep, Lena.  You need your rest.”

Lena made an unhappy noise that was 100% adorable and if she was more lucid, she would be mortified that she was capable of making such a sound.  Laughing softly into Lena’s hair, Kara pressed another kiss to her temple before pulling away.

“I’ll stay here until you fall asleep, ok?”

The brunette subtly nodded her head.  Kara felt her heart melt into a puddle as she continued to slowly run her fingers through Lena’s hair, occasionally scratching lightly at her scalp.  Within minutes, Lena had fallen soundly asleep, dreaming of bright blue eyes and a bold red emblem shaped in the form of an S.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

“Good morning, Lena!  I hope y—” Kara abruptly stopped at the door, arms laden with a white grocery bag and large thermos.  A set of mahogany and emerald eyes stared at the new guest.  Jess was perched on the edge of Lena’s bed holding the tablet up for her.  Ducking her head in embarrassment, Kara quickly muttered a more subdued greeting to both women before setting her items down in the unoccupied chair.  Shooting Lena a look behind Kara’s back, Jess hopped off the bed and wished Kara a good morning on her way out of the hospital room.  Kara picked up her thermos and turned to give Lena her most apologetic look.  The CEO nonchalantly waved away the apology and pointedly looked down at the tablet Jess left in her lap.  Glancing down, Kara realized that the two were in the middle of a Scrabble match.  She breathed an internal sigh of relief, she didn’t interrupt anything super important.

“So, I got up early to make a batch of ginger tea with a bit of honey and stopped at the local pharmacy to grab you some lozenges!  I wasn’t sure what flavour you like the most so I might’ve grabbed one of each and even discovered that they sell these cool lollipops that are actually cough drops so kids are more willing to take medicine.” Kara babbled as she poured a cupful of ginger tea out into the lid of the thermos.  Smiling brightly, she offered the steaming beverage towards Lena.  The brunette’s eyes darted from her bedside table to the proffered tea, hesitating for just a moment before firmly wrapping her fingers around the cup.  Curious at Lena’s behaviour, Kara’s eyes trailed down to the bedside table.

Oh.

There was a mostly empty glass mug with a bit of liquid the same dark golden colour of Kara’s tea.  She didn’t need to use her enhanced vision to see the bits of real ginger sitting at the bottom of the cup.  Her heart sank.  Hers didn’t have any bits of ginger in it…

“Ah, I see Jess already brought you some ginger tea.  She even put in real bits of ginger!  You don’t have to drink that, Lena, I’ll just…” Kara reached over and plucked the still steaming cup out of Lena’s hand and placed it next to the other cup.  Lena felt guilty witnessing Kara’s bright smile dim when she noticed that Jess brought her tea before she did.  Undeterred, Kara turned around and pulled the plastic bag into her hands and enthusiastically showed Lena her spoils.

“So, there’s cherry flavour, green tea, lemon with honey, and a bunch more!  The lollipop lozenges come in some really neat flavours and the pharmacist said the best tasting one is—” Kara looked up to eagerly see Lena’s expression, but felt her smile crack and fall off her face.  Lena was biting her lip, actively avoiding Kara’s eyes and the bag of goodies before her.  Kara’s brows crinkled together in thought.  Why didn’t Lena seem excited?  The only reason why Lena would look so guilty would be if…

“Did…did Jess get you cough drops too?”

Lena slowly nodded her head, eyes filled with remorse.

Pursing her lips, Kara picked up the bag of lozenges and opened up the top drawer of Lena’s bedside table to find a few packs of assorted flavoured cough drops sitting pristinely next to each other in a row.  Careful not to chuck the bag into the drawer and slam it shut, Kara kept her frustration under control as she firmly shut the drawer with her contribution added to the pre-existing collection.  Jess even managed to get the kid’s watermelon flavoured lollipops!  They were sold out at the first pharmacy Kara went to so she had to dash to two other pharmacies before finding a bag of them. Internally grumbling to herself, Kara turned to paw through her purse.  At least she didn’t stop to buy flowers like she wanted to.  Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a glass vase of white and pink lilies sitting near the sink at the end of the room.  She would’ve been zero for three in terms of get well gifts since Jess just so happened to bring all the same thoughtful gifts as Kara.  Well, there was no way Jess would have managed to bring Lena this particular get well present.  Pulling the yellow envelope out of her purse in triumph, Kara proudly turned around to present her gift to the brunette.  Lena smiled tentatively at Kara as she opened the envelope and pulled out a glittery card with a cartoonish sunflower looking sick with a thermometer in its mouth and the sun wishing it to ‘Get Well Soon.’  Lips quirking up into a lopsided smile, Lena opened up the card and was immediately bombarded with a garbled chorus of voices shouting at her to get better soon.  Bewildered, Lena looked up at a beaming Kara who was clearly proud of herself.  Shuffling closer to Lena, Kara eagerly pointed out the different messages scrawled on the card and launched into an excited babble.

“These are one of those cool cards that let you record messages so I managed to get a few people together to wish you a speedy recovery!  Don’t worry, no one weird signed it.  Well, I mean, I don’t think they’re weird because they’re my friends and family but if they were weird, they’d still want you to get better.  So this chicken scratch is Alex—you’ve met her, she’s my sister!  Oh, and this is her girlfriend’s writing.  Maggie’s is waaaay more legible.  Winn and James also signed it.  I tried to convince Winn not to write his dumb nerd joke but I turned my back for a second and well…there it is.”

In dark blue ink and all capital letters read: ‘ _MAY THE FIRST AID BE WITH YOU_.’

Lena snickered at the comment.  Surprised, Kara’s eyes darted from Winn’s dumb message to the amusement dancing in Lena’s eyes, back to the card.  She felt the dark tendrils of an ugly feeling she buried deep down from last year boil up in her chest.  Shaking the negative feeling away, Kara cleared her throat and tactlessly pointed at her loopy handwriting.

“That’s from me.  I wanted to make sure you had some extra good vibes to help you recover faster, so I used my super special yellow pen!”

The brunette didn’t have the heart to tell Kara that her use of yellow pen against a white background made it near impossible to read her message.  Lena closed the card and softly gazed into Kara’s baby blues with such tender affection that Kara felt her cheeks burn.    

“I…uh, sorry I brought you stuff you already had.  I hope you at least enjoy the card.” Kara nervously fiddled with her glasses as Lena continued to affectionately stare at her.  “Jess clearly knows you the best, which is why she’s your secretary.  Of course she’d be so thoughtful and considerate to bring you homemade ginger tea, some pretty flowers, and lozenges for your sore throat.  She even got you the watermelon flavour.  Do you know how popular that is?  I couldn’t find them until my third pharmacy!”

Lena lightly tapped the back of Kara’s hand.  Turning her tablet towards her, Kara leaned down to better read the new message.

“I’m not bitter or jealous!  Jess is an awesome lady and she clearly takes good care of you!  I just…I didn’t think she would get you everything I did…” Kara trailed off.  _Everything she got was better too._   She dejectedly thought.

Determined to banish the despondent look from Kara’s eyes, Lena quickly typed up a new message.  She hurriedly turned the screen towards Kara before her burst of courage ran out.

Kara’s eyes bulged at the neat message.  The blonde stumbled adorably over her words as she tried to process Lena’s question.  Lena anxiously waited as Kara struggled to form a coherent answer.

“ _YES!!!_ ” Kara exclaimed, as she excitedly clutched Lena’s hand in hers.  The immediate grimace of pain on Lena’s face shocked Kara into remembering the state of the other girl’s hand as she quickly dropped it.  “Oh my gosh, Lena!  I’m so sorry, I got too excited and forgot, I’ll go grab a doctor to make sure I haven’t made your fractures worse.”  Before Kara could speed out of the room, Lena had reached over with her right hand to grab a fistful of Kara’s pastel cardigan.

“…yes?” Lena croaked out.

Mortified at hearing Lena’s voice, Kara spun around, gently pushed Lena to lie back down, and fussed over her to make sure she didn’t aggravate her injuries.  Satisfied that Lena didn’t overexert herself to stop Kara from leaving, the blonde haired woman nodded enthusiastically at the question still in Lena’s eyes.

“Yes,” Kara breathed out, “I would love to go on a date with you.”

For the first time in weeks, Lena’s smile reached her eyes.  Kara said yes!  She wanted to go on a date.  With her—Lena Luthor!  Her cheeks were starting to hurt with how big she was grinning.  She couldn’t believe that the blonde reporter was beaming at her with the same excitement, her eyes crinkling into little smiles of their own.

“I’ll take care of everything, Lena!  You definitely need to rest so let me worry about all the planning for our date, ok?”

Lena opened her mouth to protest until Kara pulled out her sad puppy eyes and stuck her bottom lip out.  Thoroughly defeated, Lena sighed and reluctantly nodded her head.  Who was she to say no to such enthusiasm?

“Great!” Kara leaned in and pressed a warm kiss to Lena’s cheek.  Teetering back onto the heels of her feet, Kara couldn’t keep the glee from her wave as she bid Lena a sweet and heartfelt goodbye.

Lena dreamily sighed to herself as she plunked back into her pillows, happily wiggling at the prospect of a _date_ with Kara.

“Didn’t realize sick Lena had more game than normal Lena.”

The brunette immediately flipped her secretary the middle finger.

What a great way to start her morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments, kudos, reads, and bookmarks! Warms my heart (wherever it is) to know that so many of you enjoyed the first chapter even though Kara didn't show up. Points to you if you catch my Teen Titans and Katya Zamolodchikova reference. Don't you just love Kara all the more for totally hi-jacking all the planning for their date?
> 
> The entire time I was writing the Supercorp interaction, I kept thinking about that meme where a seal shouts GAAAAY.


	3. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena calls an emergency shopping trip to the mall with Jess. She acquires a new pair of pants she's never owned hoping Kara likes the new look.  
> The day of their date, Kara shows up and disaster strikes. In a lapse of carelessness, someone figures out Kara's secret identity. 
> 
> Let their first date commence!

“Ms. Luthor!  You should have buzzed me!”  Jess hurriedly moved around her desk towards her boss, who had just pulled open the doors to her office.

“Stop treating me like an invalid, Jess.  It’s been seven weeks since the incident and I’ve properly healed.  You saw the medical reports.”

Frowning, Jess turned Lena around and marched her to sit on the couch inside her office.  Lena grumbled as Jess fussed about her making sure the throw pillows were fluffed.  The doctors estimated that after the assault, her injuries would take approximately six weeks to heal.  She was put under strict bedrest orders which meant she had to remain silent, locked up in her penthouse, and away from work—she might as well have been dead since she was essentially told to do nothing.  In the luxury of her home, she attempted to sneakily log onto her work email.  There was no better time to burn through the mountain of emails that undoubtedly piled up during her stay at the hospital, but she was dismayed to find that she had been locked out.  Concerned about her lack of access, she had quickly texted her secretary to check if someone had bypassed their security firewalls.  Lena waited less than a minute before Jess had told her she was the one responsible for the lock out.  Lena huffed in annoyance at Jess’ firm reminder that she was to be relaxing and taking her time to heal.

“I’d feel better if you went a bit slower, Ms. Luthor.”

“Jess, we already agreed that I would stay home for an extra week to ensure that I wouldn’t aggravate my injuries in exchange for you to help me tonight.”

“But during that week, you threatened to fire me unless I granted you access back to your emails and set up the VPN link so you could work from home!”

Lena casually waved away Jess’ words.

“Details, darling.  Now, are you going to keep your end of the bargain or not?”

Feeling spiteful, Jess prodded at Lena’s side and waited for her reaction.

“See?  All healed.”

“Yeah?  Then why are you talking through gritted teeth?”

Lena widened her tight smile.

“They’re just tender, alright?  I promise you, Jess, I’m ok to be up and about.”  Lena gently patted the Chinese woman’s knee in reassurance.  Sighing loudly through her nose, Jess silently admitted to herself that she did manage to get her friend to rest an extra week, which is one week more than what she expected from the workaholic woman.  She turned to fully face the brunette.

“Fine.”  Jess pulled out her phone from her pocket blazer and quickly sent out a text message.  “Jordan should be here in 15 to pick us up.”

Lena beamed in triumph.  She opened her mouth to speak but was abruptly cut off by Jess.

“And no, you can’t wear heels while we do this.”

The CEO crossed her arms and flopped back against the cushions.  Thwarted again by her mind-reading secretary.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

“I love you, Jess, but I’m going to be here the entire time you’re out shopping with Boss Lady.”  Jordan leaned down to give his girlfriend a kiss on her cheek before slumping into a coin operated massage chair.  Jess reached into her purse, digging around until she pulled out a roll of quarters, then handed them to her smiley boyfriend.  Lena politely turned her head to the side in a poor attempt at hiding her amused smile when she saw Jordan’s eyes light up. 

“You’re the best, hun hun!”

Lena bit her lip.  The bright flush across Jess’ cheeks was a surprise since she’d never seen the young woman so flustered before.  Jordan popped a few coins into the side console and with a blissful wave, he bid both girl’s a happy shopping trip.  The duo silently wandered deeper into the mall, side by side, as the colour from Jess’ cheeks slowly faded.  There was no way Lena could stop herself from letting such a golden opportunity pass by, so she playfully bumped Jess’ shoulder with her own.

“Never heard that cute endearment before.”

Immediately, Jess’ cheeks flared bright red again.  She glared up at her friend, desperately trying to salvage some of her pride as they stepped onto the escalator.

“It’s what Chinese people call a loved one.”

“Oh?  Well, you’ve been a real _hun hun_ to me while I was recovering.”

“All due respect, Ms. Luthor, you’re the palest white woman I’ve ever met.”

Lena stopped to lean back from the grouchy secretary and sucked in a sharp breath.   

“Ouch.  Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“I can make it so you’re on the wrong side of this railing.” Jess angrily thumbed at the open space beyond the escalator.  Hands up in surrender, Lena backed off, unwilling to be sent back to the hospital so quickly.  The duo stepped off onto the second floor and briefly looked around at the surrounding clothing shops.  Butterflies nervously fluttered in Lena’s stomach.

“So,” she elongated the word, “are you ready to help me?”

Jess grabbed Lena’s arm and pulled her into a chic clothing store with high ceilings and even higher price tags.

“Let’s get this good time over with.” Grumbled Jess.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

She was absolutely panicked.  They had been browsing for two hours already and they still haven’t bought anything!  Lena was freaking out.  How was it possible that she tore through the first three floors of National City’s biggest mall and was still empty handed?  She despairingly stabbed her spoon into her frozen yogurt.  Jess rolled her eyes at her friend’s behaviour.  She lightly kicked Lena’s shin.

“Stop it.  Your brooding is starting to stress me out.”

Lena glared.

“Oh, so sorry my anxiety is causing you stress.” The heavy sarcasm in Lena’s voice had Jess kicking at her shin again.

“What, Jess?” She snapped.

“All we’re doing is buying a nice outfit for your date with Kara tomorrow.  It’s not that bad.”

Lena’s eyebrows shot up in sheer incredulousness at Jess’ words.

“Not that bad???  This is the first date I’m going on with a literal ball of sunshine!  The last few times she saw me, I was seen weak and bedridden in a disgusting hospital gown.  I want to impress her, Jess.  I can’t look like unapproachable CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor, I need to be just…Lena. It’s important that I look perfect so that she finds me…” Lena bit her lip as she vaguely waved her hands around.  The younger woman patiently waited as she ate another spoonful of frozen yogurt.  Sighing loudly, Lena cover her face with her hands and mumbled something unintelligible.

“I don’t know what you just said, boss.”

Again, Lena grumbled something.

Rolling her eyes, Jess leaned forward and gently pried one hand away from Lena’s face.

“One more time.”

“I want her to see me as dateable.”  She quietly admitted.  Jess smiled softly at her friend.  Stroking her thumb against the back of Lena’s hand, she thought back to all the stores they had entered.  All of them were high end brand names with quality material and at the peak of the current fashion trends.  Everything Lena tried on looked perfect for the runway but Lena had rejected all of them, adamant that they didn’t look right.

“Did Kara mention where you’re going for your date?”

One hand still firmly planted over her eyes, Lena responded.

“No, but she did tell me to dress casually and comfortably.”

Jess slowly nodded her head thoughtfully as an idea started to form.  Casual, huh?  She suddenly grabbed the business woman’s hand and tugged her upright.  She shoved Lena’s half melted blueberry frozen yogurt into her hands and started pushing her.  Bewildered, Lena stumbled as she tried to figure out what was happening.

“Jess, where are—”

“Shush, you!  I’ve got the perfect outfit for your date.”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

Jess excitedly flicked through the hangers as Lena cautiously eyed the store.  It was…rustic.  There was a taxidermy deer head mounted onto the back wall with other questionable décor as the current top 20 pop songs confusingly blasted from the store’s speakers.  To say she was confused at being dragged in here was an understatement.

“Why are we here, Jess?”

“I figured since Kara’s a small town girl, she’d appreciate a nice pair of blue jeans.”

“What.”

“You know, farm girl plus denim equals standard casual wear.”

Lena said nothing.  Curious at the silence, Jess stopped her browsing to turn to her friend.  The blank look on Lena’s face was not what Jess expected to see.

“Do you disagree?”

“What are those?” The brunette pointed at the pair of pants draped over Jess’ arm.  The younger woman raised a questioning eyebrow at Lena.

“These are a pair of blue jeans.” Jess slowly answered.

Lena’s bright emerald eyes continued to stare in wonder at the clothing.

“Have you never seen jeans before?” Jess’ eyebrows lowered in confusion.  It’s not possible…

“I know what they are but I’ve never owned a pair.”

Jess’ brain went supernova as she stared at Lena, unable to comprehend her words.  How was this happening to her right now?  She shook herself back into a functional state.  Clearly she stroked out and misheard.

“Can you repeat that?”

“I’ve never owned a pair of jeans.”

Ok, so she didn’t just have a stroke.

“Lena… _everyone_ has a pair of blue jeans.  How is possible that you’ve lived your entire life without a pair?”

The business woman moodily crossed her arms tightly against her chest.  She glared at the stack of colourful jeans neatly lining the wall of shelves to her right.

“Mom said they were for the poor and unsophisticated.  Something only the lower class would wear to toil in.” She mumbled, remembering the slew of tight dresses, skirts, and dress pants she wore made out of silk and other finely woven material throughout her lifetime as a Luthor.   When she was younger, she had wanted a pair but in the lavish mansion of the Luthor’s, it would have made her dowdy, different, and very much the outsider in the Luthor household.  She couldn’t afford to be different when she so desperately tried to fit seamlessly into the family—into her borrowed last name.

Jess quickly grabbed a few more articles of clothing and all but shoved them into Lena’s arms before slamming the dressing room door shut in her face.  Lena blinked owlishly at the rough material in her hands.  She felt anxiety coil low in her belly as she slowly slid her dress pants off and held the first pair of jeans at arm’s length.  Years of Lillian berating others for wearing such despicable clothing buzzed inside Lena’s head as she stared at the pants.  Staccato knocks rapped against her dressing room door.

“Lena, you ok in there?  Do they not fit?  I can grab you another pair, just tell me if they’re too tight or not.  Damn women’s clothing for having different sizing standards…”

Swallowing her anxiety, Lena stepped into the jeans and pulled them on.  Jess was about to knock again when the door suddenly swung open.  Lena shyly stepped out of the changing room and did a slow spin, unused to the unfamiliar weight of the material clinging to her hips.  She nervously looked up at Jess to see her reaction.  Jess was quiet a moment before she darted out into the store.  Crestfallen at the negative reaction, Lena hurried back into the changing stall to take off the pants.  This was clearly a bad idea.  Lillian was right about jeans and how it must’ve made Lena look if Jess reacted to—

Lena jumped at the loud banging against her door.

“Try this on!”  A white blouse was thrown over the top of her dressing room door.  Baffled, Lena retracted her hands from the button of her jeans and pulled the airy blouse towards herself.

A few moments later, Lena emerged wearing the suggested clothing and twisted her torso from side to side as she looked at herself in the mirror next to Jess.  The younger woman was positively beaming as she enthusiastically gave her two thumbs up when Lena turned to her for approval.

“You look absolutely gorgeous, Lena!”

“You think?”  She worried at her lower lip while smoothing down the front of her blouse.

“Of course!  Kara’s only ever seen you in dresses and business outfits.  Nothing is more attractive than going the other direction.  Just make sure you don’t tuck the blouse in too tight.”

The brunette nodded and tugged out a bit more fabric and hesitantly looked at Jess.

“Perfect.  I think we’ve got a winner here.  Don’t worry about the belt.  The brown leather one you wore to the breast cancer fundraiser would go perfectly with this look.”

Lena could feel Jess’ excitement bleeding into her the longer she kept shooting her a thumbs up.  She embarrassingly ran a nervous hand through her dark hair as she took one last look at the dark blue jeans clinging to her legs.

“Do you really think Kara will like it?” She whispered.

A slow grin slid onto Jess’ face.

“I’ll bet you an entire portion of wontons that Kara won’t look anywhere else.”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

_You’ve got this, Kara!  You’ve gone to another dimension, fought, and won against the dominators.  This is going to be the best date ever because you’re awesome and Lena’s awesome!_

Kara stared hard at the reflection on her dark phone screen.  She had spent the past few weeks bothering everyone in her inner circle and even Agent Vasquez about ideas for the best first date with a certain emerald eyed beauty.  Putting her phone away, Kara adjusted the scarf around her neck and gave the plumerias a quick smell.  A brief glance at the numbers above the door indicated she only had a few more floors before she reached Lena’s office and then their date would officially start.  Oh gosh, she could feel her nerves rattle her spine in excitement.

_DING!_

She took a deep breath in, checked the plumerias for courage, and stepped out of the elevator.

“Get your racist ass out of L-Corp!”

“Luthor should’ve trained you better.”

“That’s it, you’re no longer welcome here!”

And then, Kara was splashed with a face full of ice water.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

Jess wasn’t paid enough for this.  Lena’s last appointment had come in and so her other investor was forced to leave—only he didn’t.  He was old money and had been school mates with Lionel Luthor growing up.  As a hefty investor, Lena was forced to meet and schmooze him into continuing to fund the company, even though he had some choice opinions (and words) when Lena abruptly changed the direction of L-Corp.  The man was scum.  Jess was convinced of it.  He came in every other month to waste Lena’s time, just to feel like he was a valuable asset to the company and would do his best to make snide digs at Lena and her connection to the Luthors.  Fortunately for her boss, her 5 o’clock had arrived and since her next guest had flown in from Frankfurt, there was no way his appointment could be swapped around.  This meant that unfortunately, Jess had to deal with trying to convince the idiot to leave the building.

“This is absolutely disrespectful.  Do you know how much money I invest in this company every month?  More than double one of your measly pay cheques!”

Jess fought valiantly against her desire to roll her eyes.  _The man’s an idiot._   She tried to console herself, quickly opening up a chat window and messaging Richard from security to head on up to the 50th floor.  All she had to do now was nod her head until he showed up.

“Can’t blame the girl for paying you what she does.  She must’ve brought you over from China for such cheap labour.”

Jess grit her teeth.  _Be professional, queen.  You’re going to wreck your blazer if you get his blood on it._

“I wonder if you can even see me with them e—”

“Would you like some water while I call you a cab?” Jess politely ground out, quickly moving to pour a full glass of water, large chunks of ice bobbing at the top.

“Hmph.  Subservient.  Lionel’s kid made a good choice flying you in from whatever rundown hole you came from.”

“That’s unnecessary, sir.  I can assure you that—”

“Oh, shut up!  People like you make me sick.  Taking jobs away from the rest of the hard working citizens of this country, you Ch—”

Jess couldn’t wait for Richard, hand shaking with how hard she gripped the cold glass of water, she drew her hand back, and stared him dead in the eye.  She’d make it up to Lena later.

“Get your racist ass out of L-Corp!”

“Luthor should’ve trained you better.”  He warned, eyes flitting down to the glass of water in her hands.

“That’s it, you’re no longer welcome here!”  With all her might, Jess hurled the beverage at the man, waiting for the sick satisfaction of ruining his expensive suit and putting him in his place, only he moved out of the way and a fresh-faced reporter was behind him, with her hair down in beautiful curls and a lovely bouquet of imported flowers held close to her chest.

Uh-oh.

Water rapidly soaked into Kara’s winter coat and made her scarf sag with weight.  She stood, shocked, eyes squeezed shut, and her mouth open in a perfect O shape.  Jess felt her life flash before her eyes.  She quickly grabbed one of the clean hand towels Lena used for the bathroom and rushed to Kara’s side.  The elevator dinged again and a well-built man stepped out.  Jess didn’t bother with eye contact and pointed at the older man who stood at the side, just as surprised that an innocent was caught in the crossfire.  Richard roughly grabbed the older man by the shoulder and not-so-gently pushed him into the elevator.

“Oh my god, Kara, I’m so sorry!  Here.”  Jess handed the chilled reporter the towel as she began to frantically unravel the wet scarf from Kara’s neck.  The blonde finally regained her senses and gratefully took the proffered towel and began to wipe away the excess water.

“I guess I came at a bad time?” She offered weakly.

Jess draped Kara’s scarf over her office chair before rushing to take off Kara’s winter jacket.  Her face burned in shame at her actions.  Lena spent the entire day worrying about her date with Kara this evening and what did Jess do?  Oh, that’s right, completely wreck all the hard work Kara spent getting herself dolled up to take her love-struck friend out on a date by throwing a glass of ice cold water at her.  She cursed herself.

“Please, Ms. Danvers, you can use the executive bathroom just over here.  There’s a blow dryer in the ladies bathroom.”

Unable to see with water dripping into her eyes, Kara pulled off her glasses to quickly wipe down her face.  Flipping the towel over, she started to clear her lenses from the water droplets.  She looked up to offer the panicking young woman a smile to show that she wasn’t upset.  It was just a little water.  Kara opened her mouth to assuage Jess’ worries but stopped short at the wide eyes staring back at her.  The recognition in Jess’ eyes were sharp as the face that stared back at her was undeniably…

“Superg—”

“LENA, HI!!!”  Kara speedily stuffed her glasses back onto her face and covered Jess’ mouth with her hand.  The CEO stood at her recently opened office doors with her business associate standing next to her.  Lena’s emerald gaze shifted from the bright smile of the reporter to the stiff back of her secretary to the wet patch under Kara with bits of ice cubes scattered along the tiled floor.  She smoothly turned to her associate and walked him to the elevator, casually talking about nothing as they waited for the elevator to arrive.  Although she managed to appear calm on the outside, she was furious inside about the chaos she walked out to.  When the metal doors closed on him, Lena whirled around.

“What the hell happened here?”  She was absolutely livid.  Jess’ mouth open and closed several times as Lena’s rage built.

“It’s actually kind of a funny story!  So, there was an incident with some jerk who was harassing Jess and I...kind of ended up with water in my face?”

Lena’s eyes cut harshly from her secretary to Kara.

“Are you telling or asking me?”

“Telling?”

“You know, I can just pull up the footage and see what happened.”

Pushing her panic and shock to the side, Jess bravely stepped forward.

“That’s unnecessary, Ms. Luthor.  I got into a verbal altercation with Mr. Schubert as he was unwilling to leave the premises since he felt like he was entitled to more of your time.  He directed some derogatory and racist language towards me and…I may have attempted to regrettably throw a glass of water into his face, but he moved and well…”  Jess lamely waved her arm at the reporter.

Lips twisting in anger, Lena was about to raise hell on Jess when a bouquet of white and yellow flowers appeared underneath her nose.

“For you!  They were recently watered so they’re even fresher.”  Lena reached up and slowly took the flowers from Kara’s hands.  The blonde continued to smile brightly at her, wet bits of hair stuck to the sides of her face.

“I’m…I’m sorry this happened to you, Kara.”

“Pfft!  Don’t worry about it.  From what I heard, that guy really was being a total jerk to Jess.  It’s just a little water, no harm done.”

Lena frowned and clutched the flowers closer to her chest.  Of all the days this could have happened, why did it have to be on their first date— _before_ their first date?  Clearly the mood was ruined and Kara wouldn’t want to go out like this with the winter wind blowing.

“I guess our date is postponed then?”

Eyes wide, Kara frantically waved her hands.

“No, no, no, no, no!  It’s definitely still on, I mean, if you want to still go out with me?”

The CEO resolutely nodded her head.  Kara sighed in relief.

“Cool, I’ll just go…uh, try to dry off my hair in the bathroom.  Do you mind?”

“Of course not, darling.”

Kara froze at the last word.  Lena noticed the stiffness in Kara’s face and was about to apologize for her sudden slip of the tongue that clearly made the blonde uncomfortable, but Kara fell into an easy smile a moment later.

“I’ll be quick.”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

Kara was freaking out.  Jess knew.  If she hadn’t cut the secretary off, she would’ve correctly guessed Kara’s alter ego.  Oh Rao, Alex was going to _kill_ her for being so negligent that somebody else figured out her identity.  Would that mean Jess was going to tell Lena?  They haven’t even gone on their first date!  Lena and Jess were best friends, of course Jess was going to tell her!  Kara was screwed.  Maybe if she told J’onn and he used his super awesome Martian powers to wipe that bit of memory from Jess…

“Nope!  Too risky.” Kara mumbled to herself, blow dryer loud in her ear.   If Kara told Alex, she had no doubt her sister would swoop in, black bag Jess, and threaten her to stay mum about this information while she signed a stack of NDAs.

The bathroom door creaked open.

“I think we need to talk, Supergirl.”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

“Here, I made sure they gave you extra marshmallows.”  Kara beamed, handing the shivering CEO a steaming cup of hot chocolate.  Lena thanked her softly as she hurried to curl her cold fingers around the hot cup.  The blonde subtly watched Lena from the corner of her eye, taking in the adorable pink of her cheeks and nose.  Even under a wool toque, a downy coat, and the thickest pair of gloves and scarf Kara has ever seen, Lena’s beauty still managed to radiate.

“If you’re too cold, we can head inside.”

The brunette shook her head.

“I’m ok.  Just wish the snow would melt.”

“The weatherman did say that this is the last snowfall of the season.”

“Let’s hope that’s true.”  Lena grumbled.  She took a tentative sip of her hot chocolate and sighed happily as she felt her body warm up slightly.  Kara shifted nervously next to her, eyes staring downwards for long moments before flitting elsewhere, but always managing to shift back down.  Curious, Lena reached out to place a gloved hand against the other woman’s shoulder.

“Is something wrong, Kara?”

Eyes wide, Kara swallowed a large mouthful of hot chocolate at the sudden question.

“W-What?”

“You keep looking at me.  Is there something wrong?”

“Oh no!” Kara frantically waved her hand about, making sure not to jostle her hot chocolate.  “It’s just, well, I’ve never seen you in jeans before.  They look…really good on you!”

Lena couldn’t tell if the pink on Kara’s cheeks were from the cold or from embarrassment, either way, she preened as Kara’s eyes flicked back down to her legs.  _Reminder to self: give Jess a raise…and a bag of wontons._

“Thank you, darling.  They’re new and since you said to dress casually, I figured they’d be a little more appropriate than a cocktail dress.”

Kara nodded her head in fervent agreement.

“You definitely look good in cocktail dresses too, but these jeans…wowie!”  Kara’s face froze before burning bright at the amused twinkle in Lena’s eyes.

“Wowie?”

“SO!  We should head off to the ice sculptures exhibit in the park right now.  I don’t want us to both be icicles before we’ve seen everything.”  Kara ducked her head and hurried past Lena into the park.  Chuckling to herself, Lena drained the last of her hot chocolate and leisurely followed the sweet blonde into the park, dumping her empty cup into a trash can on her way in.  Could Kara be any cuter?  The reporter stood a few feet from the entrance waiting for Lena as she offered her a sheepish smile.

“Sorry for rushing off without you.”

Lena bit her lip.

Oh _yes_ , Kara Danvers could certainly be cuter.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

The duo wandered the park marvelling at the different ice sculptures on display.  To Kara’s absolute delight, someone had carved out her house insignia!  She convinced Lena to squish in with her for a selfie and then promptly sent it to Alex and Lena.  During the live ice carving demonstration, Lena fearlessly moved closer to the artist who was creating a new piece with his mini chainsaw at the taped off area of the park.  The brunette was absolutely fascinated with the process and at one point, she unconsciously gripped at Kara’s elbow to point out a surprisingly elegant swoop the artist managed to capture with a chisel.  Needless to say, Lena kept her hands wrapped firmly around Kara’s elbow until the demonstration was over.  When the audience started to disperse, she realized her closeness and immediately let go to hurry towards the ice swans.  If anyone made fun of Kara for how rosy her cheeks were, she would have blamed it on the cold air and not because of an emerald eyed beauty who softly squeezed her arm whenever she was excited.

They were nearing the final leg of the frozen art exhibit when Lena’s toes went numb.  Shivering, she crossed her arms tightly against her chest and subtly shifted closer to Kara, who she discovered was a human furnace.  Noticing the other woman’s light shivering, Kara wrapped one arm around Lena’s shoulders and pulled her flush against her side.

Lena’s eyes bulged.

Kara was lowkey freaking out internally.  She just pulled Lena Luthor, her crush, into a side hug!  Oh Rao, what was she thinking?  She should’ve asked first.  How could her body betray her like this and do something without her conscious approval?  She should just let go and—

Lena relaxed into the embrace.

She was a mess.  Was it possible to heat up so much that snow melted and turned into steam before it hit Kara’s head?  She quickly rubbed up and down Lena’s arm to keep her warm as she looked around frantically.  She needed a distraction—pronto!    

“Do you want to go on a ride down the giant ice slide?”  Lena glanced in the direction Kara was pointing.  A dramatic ice slide with several curves was stationed near the park’s exit, a small line of people were at the top waiting for their turn.

“If we go, does that mean the date’s over?”

Kara smiled down at her.  “Not if you don’t want it to.  I was hoping we could warm up at my place and play some board games.”

Lena nuzzled closer.

“Sounds perfect.”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

Lena immediately regretted her decision.  From the ground, it didn’t seem like the slide was very high up but the closer they moved to the front of the line, Lena could see it was a very icy slip’n’slide to her death.  With all the turns, there was no doubt she would pick up too much momentum and go flying off one of the curves and land in a very painful and dead heap.

“You’re next, Lena!”

The brunette didn’t step forward.  The attendants on either side of the entrance encouragingly waved her forward but she stood rooted.  This was a bad idea.  She should just bow out and let Kara slide in her stead.

“Is everything alright?”  Kara worriedly asked, tentatively reaching out to touch Lena’s elbow.  A concerned crinkle prominently appeared between her brows, blue eyes searching Lena’s green.

“I just…I think I’m good.  If you’d like to go slide, I’ll wait for you at the bottom.”  Lena broke eye contact and deftly stepped around Kara.  The blonde’s hand shot out and tugged at Lena’s elbow to stop her from leaving.

“Wait!  We just got to the front of the line.”

“I know…I’m sorry but I—”

“What if we went down the slide together?”

Lena hesitated.

“Is that even possible?”  The two looked at the attendants to get a short nod of approval.  One of the attendants motioned them to come forward.  Honestly, they just needed to get those ladies out of the way so the line could keep moving.

Kara pulled Lena closer to the start and flopped down on her butt.  She sat with her knees bent and excitedly patted the space in-between.

“C’mon!  Sit right here and I can push us down.”

Lena hesitantly stepped between Kara’s legs and gingerly sat down on the trampled snow.  She was startled when two strong arms wrapped around her midsection and pulled her against Kara’s front.

“There.  I’m like a seatbelt!  Are you ready?”

The brunette mutely nodded her head.

Kara pushed off.

Wind whipped at Lena’s face as they zoomed down the slide, Kara’s carefree laughter in her ear.  They were quickly coming up to the first turn and images of the two hitting the side wall and careening into the unforgiving ground flashed in Lena’s mind.  She squeezed her eyes shut as she clutched at Kara’s hands on her stomach.  They hit the wall and a fresh spray of snow dusted her face.  Cracking one eye open, Lena was surprised to see themselves still sliding down instead of being little splats of goo in the snow 20 feet from the ice slide.  When they finally skid to a stop at the end, Kara whooped one last time and untangled her arms from Lena.  She extended a hand to the stunned Luthor, immediately pulling her into a hug the second Lena grasped it.

“Wasn’t that awesome?  I can’t believe you wanted to miss out on that!”

She had a face full of soft blonde curls in her face with the soft scent of Kara assaulting her senses.  Is this what heaven felt like?  Kara excitedly twirled Lena around, jostling the Luthor closer, nose pressing up against the soft skin below Kara’s ear.  Lena felt the subtle shiver run through Kara at her touch.  Biting her lip, Lena softly pressed her hands against Kara’s stomach to pry herself out of the impromptu hug.

“Thank you for being my seatbelt.” Lena shyly gnawed her lip.  Giddy at Lena’s reaction, Kara reached over to grasp one of her gloved hands and smiled goofily at her.

“My pleasure!”  Her bright smile made her eyes crinkle in happiness.  Lena couldn’t stop herself from smiling back.  God, Kara’s eyes were blue.  Her eyes were just so expressive.  They were bright and clear when she was happy, darker around the rims when she was upset, and soft and enticing when she was looking at…Lena…right now.  Why were her pupils dilating?  Startled, baby blues widened as Lena slowly leaned up until they were breathing the same air.  Kara nervously laughed as she took a much needed step away from Lena.

“D-Did you want to see anything else here?”

Blinking owlishly, Lena rocked backwards to firmly plant her feet on the ground.  Kara’s pupils were still blown out, making it so she couldn’t really see too much of the lovely cerulean eyes.  A shame.  Lena quietly stepped next to Kara, slipping her hands around the crook of the reporter’s arm, and slowly slid her left hand down Kara’s forearm to tangle their fingers together.  She shyly played with the silent reporter’s gloved fingers.

Kara’s hand was so warm…

She spent the entire date trying to muster up the courage to do this, to find a moment to nonchalantly reach out, and hold the other woman’s hand without being rejected.  Quickly glancing up, she was met with a look of pure wonder painted on the bespectacled woman’s face.  Lena faintly smiled to herself.

“I’d much rather warm up with you."

Kara gulped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why must I suffer another week before the Lena/Katie McGrath-centric episode is out???
> 
> Would also like to mention that as a Canadian, our winters can last well into May. It just snowed 25-30 cm in my city this morning...


	4. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supergirl comes bearing a practical and thoughtful gift on behalf of Kara Danvers. Lena seems a bit too flirtatious during her meeting with the heroine that she feels guilty about it later.
> 
> Lena has sharp eyes and Kara's got even sharper ears. They're both protective over what they have that it's no surprise that they show off some jealousy.
> 
> At least it ends with kisses and a homewrecker is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every subsequent chapter just keeps getting longer...  
> Also v grateful that I wrote this before Kara stroked out and started dating Mon-El. :T

“Ms. Luthor.”

“Supergirl.” Lena politely greeted.  Swivelling around in her chair, she faced the heroine and rose up out of her seat to lean back against her desk.  The girl of steel stepped fully into the room and presented the CEO with a small gift wrapped box.  A dark eyebrow rose at the proffered gift.

“Well, if this isn’t the nicest way to be greeted.”  Pale fingers wrapped delicately around the gift, fingers lightly brushing against the heroine’s.  Supergirl shot her a small smile before letting go and taking a respectful step away.  Carefully, Lena tugged at the green bow and smoothly pried the lid off to reveal a sleek, silver sterling metal watch.  It was beautiful.  She bit her cheek in delight.  “Not that I’m not flattered, but what’s all this about?”

Supergirl smiled quietly to herself as she turned away to pace over to examine one of the paintings hung on the wall.

“Kara Danvers requested that you have an emergency call signal for me.”

“Oh?”  Lena reverently ran a thumb over the face of the watch.  Supergirl peeked over her shoulder to glimpse at the fondness spread across the normally stoic CEO’s features.  “It’s lovely.  Please thank her for me, Supergirl.”

Turning around to face her, Supergirl made her way back to the brunette.

“May I?”

Lena shifted the box towards Supergirl.  She assumed the heroine wanted to examine the piece of jewelry closer but was surprised when she pulled the watch out and unclasped the buckle.  Supergirl smiled at her, hands holding the watch out invitingly.  Lena swallowed.

“Which wrist would you prefer this on?”

Lena promptly stuck out her right wrist.  Realizing how eagerly she reacted, she silently cursed herself at her zealousness while Supergirl delicately wrapped the band around her wrist and clicked the watch into place.  She let her fingers drag along Lena’s smooth skin before her hands dropped.

“Beautiful.”

“Are you talking about me or the watch?”

Supergirl laughed quietly at the playful words.  Winking once, Supergirl offered the Luthor a lopsided grin.

“Good jewelry needs to match its owner, don’t you think?”

Biting her lower lip, Lena admired the light reflecting off the gemmed bezels and pulled her freshly adorned wrist to her chest, left hand curling softly around the cool metal.  Inside, Lena was jumping up and down in delight, making an utter fool out of herself, with how giddy she was at such a thoughtful gift from her girlfriend.  She still couldn’t believe that Kara Danvers was her girlfriend!  Lena had been ready to subject herself to being on the sidelines harbouring unrequited feelings for the amazingly sweet and charming reporter.  Never in a million years did Lena dream that Kara would feel the same for her.  She pressed the watch closer to herself and silently swooned.

“Do you want me to show you how to activate the distress call?”

This time, Lena consciously made sure she stuck her wrist out at a more normal speed.  Stepping closer, Supergirl cradled Lena’s wrist with one hand and carefully pointed out the necessary parts.

“Aside from being a normal watch, if you push in and hold the crown for three seconds, the case will open and…” Supergirl demonstrated and they both waited until the case of the watch silently popped open.  “Voilà.  When you hit my house’s emblem, I’ll be immediately alerted, and be at your side as soon as possible.

“How clever.  Hopefully I won’t be needing to use it too much.”

“Well, you’re free to.  Kara Danvers trusts you and so do I.”

Piercing emerald eyes looked up through dark eyelashes into deep cerulean.  Lena’s cheeks warmed at the girl of steel’s shy smile and the sudden twitch of fingers still clasped around her wrist.

“You don’t mind if it’s a social call then?”

Supergirl leaned down, blue eyes tender.

“I wouldn’t mind.” She whispered.

A throat cleared loudly.

Both women sprang away from each other and turned towards the intruder.  Jess stood positively glaring at Supergirl, hands clenched tightly around her tablet.

“Ms. Luthor.  Supergirl.”  Jess’ lips pursed after saying the heroine’s name.  Her eyes didn’t leave Supergirl’s as she continued to address Lena.  “I have the quote from the construction company for the new wing of the R&D department for you to review and sign off on.  It’s advised that it’s cleared as soon as possible so that we can expand our current projects.”

Lena subtly slipped from Supergirl’s side and sat back in her leather office chair.  Supergirl hesitantly waved at the secretary.

“Good to see you again, J—”

“It’s Ms. Leung.”

Eyebrows at her hairline, Lena was taken aback at the curt dismissal of Supergirl.  She’s never seen Jess so blatantly rude to someone before, especially someone who didn’t warrant such frostiness as Supergirl.  Jess broke eye contact with the shocked superhero when she was in front of Lena’s desk, tablet thrust forward.

“If everything seems in order and you approve of the proposal before noon, the construction company can start as early as tomorrow.”

Lena’s eyebrows furrowed together at the tightness around Jess’ lips and adamant refusal to acknowledge the woman standing to Lena’s left.  What had gotten into Jess?  Why was she treating Supergirl so coldly?

“Thank you.”  Lena gingerly took the tablet from her secretary’s hands and shot a fleeting look at the superhero standing awkwardly to the side. 

“I should go, Ms. Luthor.  I just wanted to stop by and drop off that present.  Thank you for your time.”

“Wait.”

Both heads snapped to the young Chinese woman.  Jess was back to full on glaring at Supergirl.  If she was Kryptonian, there was no doubt she would have activated her heat vision.

“If there isn’t anything pressing, I’d like to quickly chat with you, Supergirl.”

“I should really get to patrolling the city…”

Jess smoothly turned back to her boss.

“That’s a nice watch, Ms. Luthor.  Did someone recently give that to you?”

Lena could feel her body break out into a cold sweat as her hands became clammy.  Her facial expression remained passive as she sparingly admired her new watch for a moment.

“Yes, Supergirl here came to deliver it on behalf of Kara.”

“Mn.  Sorry that I interrupted such an intimate moment between you two.  I’ll ring up Kara and let her know you received her present.”

Lena’s mind flashed back to how close Supergirl was just before Jess interrupted them.  _Shit._   How was she going to explain to her _girlfriend_ that she might have unintentionally been flirting with their mutual Kryptonian friend and might have even let her kiss her had her secretary not intervened?

“I wonder, why didn’t Ms. Danvers come here to deliver this gift to you in person?  Unless—”

Supergirl’s eyes widened.

“I can spare a few moments to speak with you, Ms. Leung!  Shall we go over to your desk?”

Jess sarcastically smiled at the panic in Supergirl’s eyes.

“Right this way, Supergirl.”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

Jess dragged the Kryptonian into the ladies executive bathroom.  Locking the entrance behind them, Jess whirled around to face the superhero.

“You still haven’t told Lena, have you?”

“I-I’ve been meaning to but the timing doesn’t feel right and—”

The secretary stomped her way forward until the heroine’s lower back was uncomfortably pressed into the bathroom counter.  She jabbed a well-manicured finger into the heroine’s chest.

“Kara.  You told me you’d do it last week.  What the hell?”  Jess grit her teeth.  Kara nervously laughed, aware that she was close enough to see the promise of murder flash loudly in the angry woman’s eyes.

“She stayed the night and we were comfortably curled up on my sofa.  Lena was half asleep so I didn’t want to wake her up with that truth bomb.”

“So, what?  You think you can just keep waltzing onto Lena’s balcony as Supergirl and shamelessly _flirt_ with her as your alter ego?  How guilty do you think she is every time after you—” Another sharp jab.  “Leave as Supergirl and she realizes that she’s been flirting with someone who she thinks is a completely different person than her girlfriend, Kara Danvers?”

Kara shamefully lowered her eyes.

Huffing in anger, Jess pushed herself away from the stupid girl and rubbed a hand furiously against her forehead.

“I thought you trusted Lena.”

“I do!”

Angry eyes snapped back to Kara.

“Then why haven’t you told her?  I don’t care if you distract Lena from work every day but you can’t do it when she doesn’t know the truth.”

Hunching in on herself, Kara looked small and lost in the eye of Jess’ rage.

“I…I just don’t want her to worry about me.”

“What kind of dumb—”

“As Kara Danvers, CatCo reporter, I’m a normal human who writes articles for a living.  Nothing too exciting.  If she knew I was Supergirl, she’d be stressed out watching me fight aliens on the news or worry that her family was trying to constantly kill me!  I just want her to be happy and not have to worry about me!”  Kara’s eyes were desperately pleading with Jess to understand her hesitance for revealing the truth.  The secretary tightly crossed her arms in front of her chest and averted her gaze.

“Please, Jess.  Please don’t tell Lena.”

The Chinese woman remained silent.

“I know I said I’d do it before and I haven’t yet, but please understand that it’s not because I don’t trust her.  She’s already stressed out with Lex sending people after her and her mom trying to reach her from jail.  I don’t want to add to her stress.”

“You shouldn’t be flirting with her as Supergirl then.”

“I know, I know!  It’s stupid of me.”

Cold eyes zeroed in on Kara again.  The anger was still there but it was less of a wild blaze and more of a healthy camp fire.

“You better do it soon, Kara.  If I see you flirt at all with Lena as Supergirl again, I’ll tell her myself.  Don’t keep making her feel like she’s a cheater when she’s not.”

Kara’s blonde curls bounced with how fervently she was nodding her head.

“I promise.  Just a little more time and she’ll know the truth.”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

Lena hummed happily to herself as she watched the numbers tick up on the elevator.  She carefully held a takeout bag of Chinese food and coffees from Noonan’s.  Today she managed to seal a particularly difficult deal with a materials company and figured she would surprise her girlfriend at work.  Alone in the elevator, Lena allowed herself a small shimmy of happiness.  Could this day get any better?  The elevator dinged her arrival.  She gracefully stepped out and headed towards James Olsen’s office.  Kara texted her earlier mentioning she had a meeting with the temporary leader of CatCo.

Lena stopped dead in her tracks.

Through the glass walls of the large office, Kara’s back was facing Lena, which wasn’t a problem so much as the look on James’ face.  The handsome man was leaning close to Kara, eyes warm with love, and lips stretched into an easy smile.  She felt her vision burn red at the edges as she stomped purposefully towards the two.

“Kara, darling?”

The blonde spun around at the familiar voice.  Her face completely lit up at the sight of the brunette CEO.

“Lena!  What are you doing here?”

Lena carefully hugged Kara, mindful of the coffee tray in her left hand and glared at James over Kara’s shoulder before they pulled apart.  As she pulled away, she pressed a quick kiss to Kara’s cheek.

“When you told me you had to work through lunch to finish that article for Snapper, I figured you’d appreciate a little food delivery.”

The reporter’s eyes shone bright with happiness at Lena’s thoughtfulness.

“Have I mentioned that you’re the best girlfriend ever?”

She delicately shrugged her shoulders.

“You haven’t, but that’s a good start.”

James loudly cleared his throat behind the two.  He offered a lukewarm smile to the CEO.

“Always a pleasure to see you, Ms. Luthor.”

“You can just call me, Lena.  No need to be so formal when we’ve already met.”

James offered her a curt nod before turning towards Kara, who had grabbed the coffees from Lena and was now resting a warm hand against Lena’s hip.  His eyes briefly flickered down to where the two were connected before looking back up.  Lena felt satisfaction bloom warmly inside her chest at the dejection that washed over James’ features at the sight of Kara holding Lena close to her.

“That’s all for now, Kara.  I don’t want to keep you from your lunch date unless you wanted to talk more?”  Lena almost felt bad at the hope dripping from James’ words.

“Nope!  That should be everything.  If anything comes up, I’ll let you know…but I’m going to take my lunch break with Lena now, if that’s alright?”

He crossed his arms against his chest, trying to appear nonchalant but Lena saw the way the muscles in his arms tensed, straining the material of his shirt.  Nodding, he offered Kara one more longing and faint smile.  Lena bit the inside of her cheek.  She knew that unrequited, lovelorn look well and couldn’t stomach to see it a second longer.  She almost felt guilty…but not enough to give up Kara.

“I wouldn’t want to keep you.  Have a good lunch you two.”

Lena offered him a polite nod and steered her and Kara away.  She leaned into Kara’s warmth and reveled in the gentle squeeze of warm fingers at her hip.

Not in this lifetime, Olsen.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

“Have you kissed yet?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“Have you at least bedded her?”

“Jess!  If I haven’t kissed her, there’s no way I would’ve slept with her!”

Her friend grinned devilishly at her.  With a casual shrug, Jess topped up both of their cups with hot tea and propped her feet up on the coffee table.

“You might have done things out of order.  How am I supposed to know?”

“Do you have sex with Jordan without kissing?” Lena bitterly retorted, fingers clenching around the handle of her cup.  Jess laughed good-naturedly and winked.

“You looking for tips, Ms. Luthor?”

“Shut it.”

Shaking her head, Jess rolled her feet in a circular motion, stretching out her sore calf muscles.  After work, Jess invited Lena over to relax and try out a new board game so that she could bring it to Kara’s next game night.  So far, all the games Jess has taught Lena were all hits at game night.  Relaxing, the duo sat nursing full cups of black tea and lounging comfortably on Jess’ sofa.

“Have you guys really not kissed yet?”  Jess watched from the corner of her eyes as Lena ducked her head to take a small sip from her mug.

“No…we’re taking our time.  She’s never been with another woman before.”

“Are you worried she’s mistaking feelings of deep friendship for love?”

The brunette shook her head.

“No…at least I hope not.”

“Has she been interested in other women before or is it just you?”

Lena nervously traced the rim of her cup.

“Well, when I asked her about it, she said that she cares more about the type of person than gender.  You know, like if they’ve got a good heart and such.”

“Sounds like she’s pan.  Do you know if she’s pansexual or panromantic?”

Cheeks warm, Lena coughed awkwardly.

“I hope she’s pansexual.”

“For your sake, I hope so too.”

Jess leaned forward to place her mug on the coaster next to her feet and plunked back into the plush cushions of her couch.  The paler woman sat brooding into the mug clenched tightly between her hands.

“Why do you look so unhappy, Lena?”

She bit the inside of her cheek.  Lena is a Luthor.  Luthor’s don’t talk about feelings because other people can exploit them.  Feelings are for weak minded people who don’t have the power to achieve what they want so they manipulate.  Having emotions are bothersome and slow one down.  Feelings can—

A warm hand grasped Lena’s tense forearm.

“Do you want to learn that game I promised you?  It’s called Splendor and it doesn’t require a lot of talking.”

Lena stiffly nodded and Jess tugged her onto her feet.

As they sat at the breakfast bar setting up the game, Lena could feel her insecurities gnaw away at her.  She spent the last few nights sleepless as she stared up at her dark ceiling going over the negative thoughts over and over again.  Would it help to tell Jess, or would she just laugh at her?

“—and that’s it.  Pretty straightforward game.  Think you got it, boss?”

Lena mutely nodded.

“Great.  Let’s do a practice round.  I’ll go first and demo how a typical turn cycle goes.”

As the duo played silently, Jess could feel the words slowly bubbling up Lena’s throat each time she haltingly shifted to look at her, before thinking otherwise, and proceeding with her next move in the game.  It wasn’t her place to push.  Relationships were new to the Luthor and Jess was nothing if not patient.  The CEO was undoubtedly confident and charismatic when it came to anything having to do with the business world.  There was absolutely no hesitation in her decisions, her words, or her steps as she commanded a room’s attention with her mere presence.  It was humbling to know that for all her money and sway in the business world, Lena was still human and one with a very delicate and love-starved heart.  Lena’s hand hovered over the different coloured selection of tokens for a long moment before she finally spoke.

“I…I don’t know how to be in a relationship, Jess.”  She admitted in a small voice.

“You’re doing it though.  You should be proud with how happy you’re able to make Kara.”

Lena balled her fists in her lap, eyes turned downwards.

“How long…”

“Hmm?” Jess turned to fully face Lena, game completely forgotten.

“How long until I wreck this relationship too?”

“Whoa, what are you talking about?” Jess’ eyebrows were drawn together as she leaned forward and squeezed Lena’s knee, willing her to look up.  Lena was curling inward, shutting her out, and letting the dark thoughts run rampant.  The younger woman squeezed tighter and softly shook the brunette’s leg.  It wasn’t too late yet.  Jess could feel Lena edging closer to the precipice of giving into the downward spiral of negative thoughts.

“Don’t do that, Lena.  It’s me, Jess, just breathe through it and tell me what you’re thinking.  You know I won’t judge you.  I’m your friend.”

Lena’s eyes had glossed over.  She wasn’t listening to her anymore.  This was bad.  Last time she got this look in her eyes, Jess found Lena sick in the bathroom at work with two empty bottles of vodka and a broken laptop.

“Do you want me to call Kara to come take you home?”

At that, Lena’s eyes cleared and she hurriedly exclaimed no.  Jess shifted to rub slow circles on Lena’s back, taking in deep breaths and watching as Lena slowly matched her.  The worst of the emotional torrential storm died down and Lena felt more centered.

“So, talk to me, boss.  You slipped away there for a minute.”

“I just…” She clenched her eyes shut, “I don’t exactly inspire people to stay.  What’s keeping Kara here?”

“Well, I’m here so your success rate isn’t a complete zero.”  Lena didn’t respond at all to the attempt at a light hearted joke.  The secretary pursed her lips and shifted gears.  “Where is this coming from?  Kara is crazy about you.  Did something happen?”

Sighing heavily, Lena rubbed tiredly at her eyes.

“Remember the day Supergirl came to drop off the emergency signal for me?  Well, if you hadn’t stopped us, I probably would have leaned in and…done something regrettable.”

She chanced a look at her friend and saw the younger woman’s eyes alight in quiet fury.

“Has Kara talked to you about Supergirl?”

Lena tilted her head questioningly at the words.  Did Kara know about her accidental flirtations with the girl of steel?

“No,” Lena spoke slowly, “Should she have?”

Jess hurriedly and forcefully started to shove the game pieces back into the box.  Bewildered, Lena grabbed Jess’ arm to stop the flurry of movement, then turned her so that she could read the emotions flashing across Jess’ face.  Eyes searching, all Lena could decipher was anger and impatience.  Were those feelings for her?  Was Jess upset at how she was risking everything with Kara just because she found herself enamoured by Supergirl?

“Jess…please, don’t tell Kara.  I would never leave her for Supergirl but I find myself a little drawn to the Kryptonian.  I really do care for Kara and I’m trying to rid myself of these conflicting feelings, but it’s a bit hard.  I’m sure these feelings will go away with a little more time.  Just please…give me a little more time to get my heart in line with my head.”

“Unbelievable.” Jess groused under her breath.  Kara still hasn’t told Lena!  Didn’t she _just_ threaten the girl a few days ago for making Lena feel guilty about thinking she was emotionally cheating on her girlfriend with her girlfriend?  Superhero, my ass.  Kara was a damn coward for continuing to leave Lena in the dark.

“Lena, I know you wouldn’t look elsewhere but I think,” Jess took a steadying breath, hoping it would help her anger simmer, “you should invite Kara over tomorrow and have a heart to heart.”

“You think?”

Jess’ heart broke at the fearful look in her friend’s eyes.  

“If Kara really loves and trusts you as much as she says she does, she’ll want to hear this.  I’m sure she’ll have something important to share with you too.”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

A picture of Lena and Kara with their cheeks smooshed together while happily smiling lit up Kara’s phone.  Grinning goofily at the picture, Kara hurriedly shifted the papers in her hands to one of her arms and hit ‘accept.’

“Hi, Lena!”

“ _Darling._ ”  Kara wiggled in delight at the affectionate nickname.  Karen from accounting gave her a weird look as they passed each other in the hall.

“How’s your day been?  No stressful meetings with anyone?”

“ _Nope. I actually finished work an hour ago.  Just in the elevator up to my penthouse.  Excited for my butt to spend quality time on my couch.  How’s work for you?_ ”

Kara mouthed a happy hello at one of the janitors and easily sidestepped a flustered intern.

“It’s going well!  I just handed Snapper my revised article so I’m hoping he accepts it this time.  Did you know chiaroscuro is not the same thing as a chia pet?”

She could hear the distinct muffle of Lena’s laugh.  The brunette probably covered her mouth to spare Kara’s feelings at such a horrible mix up.  A faint jingle could be heard in the background as Lena pulled out her house keys.

“ _I did know that, darling._ ” Lena drawled, amused.  “ _Do you think you’ll be staying late at work?  Should I bring you dinner?_ ”

“Well, if Snapper approves of my article then I’m free but if not, yes, please!”

“ _What would you—”_ Lena’s voice suddenly became fainter and Kara kicked her super hearing up a notch to hear what was going on the other side of her receiver.  “ _Hello, darling.  It’s nice to see you again too.  Give me some kisses._ ”

Kara’s eyes bulged out of her head.  Lena was _very_ selective about who she called ‘darling.’  That was a word she reserved exclusively for Jess and her!  White hot anger coursed through Kara’s veins.  Who was at Lena’s apartment waiting for her?  Why were they giving _her_ girlfriend kisses when that was Kara’s job?  I mean, Kara hasn’t properly kissed Lena yet, aside from pecks on the cheek, but still!

“ _Aww…you’re so affectionate today.  Thank you for such sweet kisses, darling!_ ”

The reporter was a second away from blasting out the nearest window when Lena’s muffled voice came back loud and clear.

“ _Sorry, Kara.  What did you want me to pick up for dinner?_ ”

Adjusting her glasses, Kara focused on Lena’s voice, hoping it would sooth the uncontrollable feelings of anger and paranoia that was gripping her heart.

“Actually, how about I come over with dinner for us?  Your place?”

“ _Sounds perfect.  Are you sure your article will be approved?_ ”

“Of course!” Kara shouted.  Several heads turned to stare at her at her sudden outburst.  Embarrassed, Kara ducked her head and hurried at (what she hoped was) a human pace to Snapper’s office.  “Uh…unless you’re busy or have company?”

Lena chuckled.

” _Could you maybe pick up Italian?_ ”

“You betcha.  I’ll head over right n—”

“Danvers!”

Wincing, Kara pulled the phone away from her ear and covered the mouthpiece.  Snapper glared at her from over the top of his reading glasses.  Gulping, she hurried to the side of his desk.  When she was close enough, he forcefully threw her revised article in its clear duotang at her.

“Your article _still_ has spelling errors.  Fix them.  Cullen’s wife just went into labour so congrats.  You’re going to finish his article on the superweapons Lord Technologies is selling to politicians in Gotham.  Here.”  The irritable man slapped another set of papers onto the pile in Kara’s arms.  “I need both within the hour so I can send them off to print.”

“But…”  Her voice trailed off at the scathing glare she received.

“You a reporter or not, Danvers?”

“I am, I just—”

“Then go away and finish up those articles.”

Tail between her legs, Kara huffed in anger as she left Snapper’s office and shoved her phone between her shoulder and cheek so she could use her freed hands to flip through Cullen’s research.

“Hey, Lena.  I just talked to Snapper and—”

“ _I heard.  Don’t worry, we can still have dinner at my place.  I expect chicken linguini from that place on 17 th Ave though._”

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

Smoothing down the rogue strands of hair that got loose during her short flight to her girlfriend’s penthouse, Kara nervously shifted the take out bag to her left hand before knocking on the door.  In her office, Kara may have used her powers to rush through both articles and managed to break two keyboards in her haste.  She also made sure to send photos of Cullen’s research to Alex at the DEO for further investigation on Max Lord’s shady business transactions.  Even if she did rush her work, Snapper still gave her his grunt of approval and dismissed her with a wave.

She could hear Lena moving towards the door.

Oh Rao, she was not ready for this.  The entire reason she rushed the articles and to get them dinner was because she wanted to catch whoever this mysterious person was that was in her girlfriend’s apartment.  It wasn’t that Kara was insecure about their relationship…but she was acutely aware of the fact that Lena was an intelligent, successful, and alluring woman who drew anyone’s eyes like a moth to a flame.

The door opened to reveal her beautiful girlfriend.  Eyes flickering down, Lena smiled even wider at the sight of the logo on the side of the bag.

“You remembered to get the food.”

Kara laughed nervously as Lena tipped forward to kiss her softly on the cheek.  She tilted her head to look over Lena’s shoulder so that she could better glimpse into the apartment, but found the kitchen and attached living room empty.

“Come along now, darling.  Best not to waste food while it’s still warm.”

The blonde hurriedly stepped in and toed off her shoes.  This was the first time Lena had invited Kara over to her place.  She let her eyes rove around and take in the décor.  Surprisingly, Lena had paintings hanging up throughout her home and small sculptures illuminated by single lightbulbs from above in the alcoves in the walls.  It was stylish, modest, and classy—just like Lena.

“You have a really beautiful home.” Kara complimented once they arrived at the dining table.  Lena smiled at Kara as she handed her a set of plates and utensils.

“Thank you.  I like to put up pieces that I find inspiring.  It’s a nice way to recharge when I come home.”

The two quietly spooned their food onto their plates and began eating.  The soft crooning of a female singer could be heard from the sound system in the living room, setting the perfect atmosphere for their first dinner together at Lena’s home.

“So…”  Kara awkwardly started as she picked at her gnocchi, “I kind of heard you talking to somebody else while we were on the phone earlier.”

Emerald eyes bore holes into Kara as the reporter nervously shovelled food into her mouth.

“Did you now?”

“Mhm!” The blonde responded, mouth full and eyes strictly on her food.  _Way to bring up a difficult topic of conversation, Kara._ She chastised herself.

“Well, I can assure you that there was no one other than me.”

“But, I heard you call someone else ‘darling’ and then you asked for kisses!  I know we haven’t gotten quite that far into our relationship yet because I want to respect the pace you want to go, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about kissing you, like, all the time—because I do!  Sometimes your lips go up on one side when you’re smirking at me when you know you’ve beaten me at a game and I just—”

“You think about kissing me all the time?”

Kara’s face burned at the inadvertent confession.  She mutely nodded her head.  Lena rested her chin in the palm of her hand as she leaned forward, eyes glimmering with interest.

“You worried I’m giving my kisses away to someone that isn’t you, Ms. Danvers?”

Soft pink darkened to crimson.  Kara could feel the heat from her embarrassment causing her to start sweating uncomfortably under her collar.  It didn’t help that Lena had that damn lopsided smirk that Kara loved so much on her face.

“I know what I heard.” The reporter grumbled, attention focused back on her food.

Lena’s smirk softened at the crinkle that appeared between Kara’s brows.  Her girlfriend really was anxious about the potential affair she seemingly heard on the phone.

“Darling…” Kara hesitantly looked up from underneath her eyelashes at the brunette, “are you jealous?”

The blonde physically reeled back at the words.

“W-What??  How could y—why would you say something like that?”

“You seem pretty upset about something that didn’t happen.”

“But it did!  I heard you ask for kisses and then thank whoever!  Explain that!”

“Kara, there was literally no one else in my apartment with me.”

“Who was kissing you then??”

A soft meow echoed from underneath the table.  Pushing her seat back, Kara saw a small grey tabby munchkin curl around her ankles before the cat trotted into Lena’s waiting hands, where she was picked up and placed in the CEO’s lap.

“Kara, this is my cat, Pumpkin, the unknowing homewrecker.”

If the ground could swallow Kara up right now, that’d be great.  She rapidly blinked a few times as she tried to get her brain to kickstart back into a functional state and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“Why is she called Pumpkin if she isn’t orange??”

Lena raised a dark eyebrow elegantly at Kara.

“It’s a name, darling.  It doesn’t have to describe the way she looks.”

Realizing how stupid she sounded, Kara covered her red face with her hands and slowly slunk lower in her chair.  Yup, Kara was ready to die from embarrassment now.  She falsely accused her girlfriend of having a side lover and then made a dumb comment about how her cat didn’t match its name.  She should just find Lena’s balcony and jet off into a black hole so that she wouldn’t have to live with this shame.

Lena chuckled quietly at her girlfriend’s embarrassment and shuffled around the table to crouch next to the blonde.

“Kara, look at me, darling.”

Still embarrassed, Kara kept her hands firmly planted on her face but peeked through her fingers.  Lena felt her heart melt at such a cute display.  She grasped one of Pumpkin’s paws in her hand and with her cheek next to her kitty, she waved at her girlfriend.

“Pumpkin Patches says ‘hi.’”

“Hi, Pumpkin.”

Lena grinned up at the blonde.

“Darling, Pumpkin can’t hear you when you’re muffling your words with your hands.  Come and pet her.  She won’t hurt you.”

Slowly, Kara dropped her hands to reach out and presented her fingers for the cat to sniffle.  Pleased by the gesture, Pumpkin moved forward and rubbed the back of her head against Kara’s outstretched fingers.  Emboldened by the gesture, Kara began to scratch behind the feline’s ears, delighted to hear the soft purring from the kitty.

“That’s Pumpkin’s way of saying she’s sorry for making you jealous.”

Kara smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry, I guess I got a bit carried away.”

“It’s ok.  Now you know who I like to get my kisses from.”

The reporter nervously licked her lips as she leaned forward.

“Is there…anyone else you would like to receive kisses from?”

Lena thoughtfully hummed as she stroked Pumpkin’s back.  Her dark emerald eyes met vibrant cerulean.

“Maybe.  Not sure if I’ll get my kisses since my girlfriend doesn’t seem to pick up any of the hints I keep blatantly dropping.”

Lena bit her lip at how close Kara’s were.  All she needed to do for their lips to meet was tilt her head up.

So she did.

Kara’s lips were soft and responsive as they moved gently against Lena’s as she kissed back.  If there was any doubt in Lena’s mind about Kara wanting to be with her romantically, those thoughts would have been blasted out with how amazing it felt to have Kara push more insistently against her own lips.  Kara’s chair squealed loudly against the hardwood flooring as she moved from her chair to the ground so that Lena didn’t have to continue to strain her neck.  The blonde crawled forward, deepening the kiss.  At Kara’s advancement, Lena felt her center of balance shift her position from crouching to sitting on her rear.

This felt amazing!  Why didn’t Kara gather enough courage to kiss Lena before?  She could feel the CEO’s dark lipstick smear against her mouth as she pressed open mouth kisses to Lena’s lips.  She wanted—no, she needed more.  Hands finding Lena’s hips, Kara pushed forward until Lena was lying on her back, returning Kara’s open mouth kisses.  Wanting to feel more of Lena’s body, Kara slowly lowered her hips between the brunette’s legs and pressed in.

A loud yowl broke the heated spell. 

Two heads shot down to see the munchkin cat sandwiched between their bodies.  Mortified, Lena shoved a hand against Kara’s shoulder at the same time Kara pushed herself away.  Unhappy at almost becoming a pancake and witnessing her human’s first kiss with her significant other, Pumpkin darted away at the first chance of freedom. 

The sound of laughter rang bright below Kara.  Looking down, Lena had one hand throw over her eyes as she laughed, open and carefree with her shoulders shaking.  Kara couldn’t help herself before she leaned forward to rest her forehead against Lena’s shoulder and laughed at the absurdity of the situation too.  The two laughed together on the floor for some time before their laughter petered off into the occasional giggle.

Kara revelled in feeling the deep breaths Lena was taking.  Hands softly carding through golden locks, Lena worked her hands down until one was playing with the baby hairs at the nape of Kara’s neck and her other arm was draped lazily against the reporter’s shoulders.  Kara’s eyes were closed as she hummed her delight at the tender ministrations.

“I think our food has gone cold.”

“Later.” Kara mumbled into Lena’s navy blue sleep shirt.  Turning her head to the side, she pressed a soft kiss to the underside of Lena’s jaw.  She felt the brunette suck in a deep breath as her body shuddered at the affection.  Lips dragging down the smooth column of pale skin, Kara felt the bob of Lena’s throat as she swallowed.

“Can we move this to somewhere that isn’t the floor?”

“Where were you thinking?” Kara’s eyes were dark with desire as she pulled away with Lena’s dark red lipstick smeared unevenly against her lips.  Hand continuing to massage the back of the blonde’s neck, Lena shot her that lopsided smirk that drove Kara crazy.

“I was thinking the bed—”

Loud horns blared loudly from the living room speakers.  Pushing Kara up, Lena frantically scrambled out from under her as she dashed to the living room.  Ears scarlet, she quickly punched the power button on the speakers to off.  She quickly prayed that Kara was too out of it to recognize the song.

“Was that Carly Rae Jepsen?”

Lena slowly shut her eyes and silently mouthed ‘why god?’ before turning to face her amused girlfriend.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

When in doubt, deny.

Kara grinned from ear to ear as she picked herself off the floor and moved closer to the humiliated business woman.

“That totally was!!!  Run Away With Me, right?”

“No.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you listened to anything other than classical or soft indie.”

Lena refused to open her eyes even as she felt Kara’s hands rest against the sides of her hips.

“This is great, Lena!  We have some music that we like in common.”

“I’ve never heard of this song before in my life.”

“You told me you only play music from your own library.”

“I’ve been hacked.”

At the press of warm lips against the corner of her mouth, Lena finally opened her eyes.  Kara was positively glowing.  Grin wide, dark lipstick smeared across her face, and eyes a dazzling shade of blue, Lena felt her embarrassment fade.

“Why am I not surprised you listen to Carly Rae?”

“She’s a musical genius.  Can I pick the next song?”

Lena reached for her phone lying next to her Bluetooth speakers, unlocked it, and wordlessly handed it out to her ecstatic girlfriend.

“Oh nice!  You have her full album.”  Switching the speakers back on, the opening beat of E•MO•TION started.  Pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, Kara started to sway her hips to the beat while Lena stood awkwardly by the speakers.  Tutting at Lena’s closed off body language, Kara tugged Lena’s arms from their crossed position against her chest and pulled her into the center of the living room.

“C’mon, Lena, dance with me!”

“No.”

Kara rolled her eyes at her sulking girlfriend and lifted her up into a hug.  Eyes wide, Lena shot her arms out to push against Kara’s shoulders to stop herself from pitching over.

“I know you want to dance.  Carly Rae’s music basically demands that we do!”

The blonde excitedly moved about and twirled Lena as the CEO kept her arms fully extended as she pushed back against her girlfriend.  With a mischievous glint in her eye, Kara tossed Lena upward enough to shift her arms from around the brunette’s lower back to underneath her rear.  Surprised at the change in position, Lena felt her knees move to either side of Kara’s hips.  The blonde flashed a charming smile before shifting forward to dip Lena.

“Kara!” Lena squeaked in fear, as she felt herself fall backwards.  Her legs quickly clamped around Kara’s hips while the blonde easily shifted one hand to Lena’s hip and the other to support her back.  Kara effortlessly pulled them back into an upright position and happily sang the lyrics at a flustered Lena.

“ _In your fantasy, dream about me and all that we could do with this emotion~_ ”

If Lena was stunned with Kara’s easy strength then she was floored with Kara’s melodic voice.  Kara kept them both moving to the music until Lena finally regained her senses and asked for her girlfriend to let her down.  Walking them over to the nearest couch, Kara bent down to gently set the emerald eyed beauty down.  Arms unwinding from around the blonde’s neck, Lena shot her girlfriend an embarrassed scowl.

“Did you really need to drag me into dancing?”

“You didn’t think it was fun?”  Kara asked, as she plopped down next to the brunette on the couch.  She didn’t even look winded!  How fit was she?

“Don’t tell anyone I listen to Carly Rae Jepsen.”

“Why not?  It’s pretty understandable since her music is so upbeat!”

“Jess will laugh my ass back into an orphanage.”

Laughing, Kara pulled Lena’s closest hand into hers.  She slowly trailed her fingers up from Lena’s knuckles all the way up to her neck, softly stroking the backs of her fingers against Lena’s pink dusted cheeks.

“I’ll keep it a secret if I can get a kiss.”  Kara shifted forward, eyes focused intently on the other woman’s lips.

“How about two?”

“You drive a hard bargain, Ms. Luthor.”

“That’s ‘honey’ to you.”

Kara soon realized that kissing when smiling was a bit weird, but she loved it anyways because she could feel Lena smile into their next kiss.  Hand blazing a hot trail from the strong tendons in Kara’s neck down to her firm deltoids, Lena slowly dragged her hand across Kara’s collar bone and slipped a hand through the open top button of her dress shirt to caress soft skin.  Kara instantly pulled back as Lena’s hand dipped below her collar bone towards her super suit.

“Sorry, was I going too fast?” Winced the brunette.  Cheeks flushed, Kara hastily shook her head.

“No!  I just…uh, have work early tomorrow.  Need to meet with James first thing and—”

“I see.”  Lena’s face darkened before she scooted further away from the blonde on the couch.  Wilting at the sudden distance, Kara fumbled to regain Lena’s gaze.

“Is something wrong?”

“Let’s finish eating our food before it spoils.”  Lena left Kara sitting as she grabbed their plates and popped one into the microwave.  Brows furrowing at the clear dismissal, the blonde carefully moved to stand next to Lena as she swapped the reheated plate out for the next.  The duo stood in terse silence before the microwave beeped its completion of the timed cycle.  Lena grabbed both plates and breezed past Kara to the dining table.

Eating in awkward silence wasn’t something Kara was used to or enjoyed.  She certainly never had a meal with Lena that wasn’t filled with animated conversation or comfortable silence.  It was unnerving to know it was something she said that had soured Lena’s mood.  Rewinding back to the moments leading up to Lena leaving her on the couch, Kara desperately tried to figure out what misstep she had made to upset her girlfriend.

“Sorry that I wrecked the mood, Lena.”

The business woman continued to eat in silence.

Licking her lips in nervousness, Kara tried again.

“Y’know, I’m super into you, right?  Err, super as in crazy interested not—” Kara tried to backtrack.  This is _NOT_ the way she wanted to tell Lena that she was Supergirl.

“So you and James Olsen seem to be close.”

Kara’s mouth was half-opened, ready to continue to word vomit her apologies but stopped at the sudden bite in Lena’s words.

“Uh, yeah.  We’re friends.”

“ _Just_ friends?”

Kara slowly nodded her head.  Why was Lena questioning her about her friendship with James?

“I saw the way he looked at you in the office the other day.  That’s certainly not the way a friend would look at someone who was just their friend.”

Oh.

_OH!_

Lena was jealous!

“Honey, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Don’t ‘honey’ me right now.”

“I’m being honest though!”

Lena glowered into her pasta.

“Really, Lena?”

The brunette forcibly speared her linguini in response.

“There’s nothing going on between me and James!”

“I know what I saw.”

Sighing in exasperation, Kara pushed her plate to the side so she could grab Lena’s balled left hand.  She rubbed soothingly with her thumb over the back of Lena’s trembling fist.

“Look.  James and I were a thing for like two seconds.  We never officially got together.”

“Two seconds?!”  Lena’s head shot up at the confession.  Kara winced at the sudden high pitched tone.  Hello foot meet Kara’s mouth.  She needed to do damage control—stat!

“I kind of had a crush on him last year?”  At the feeling of Lena starting to pull her hand away, Kara gripped tighter and rushed to explain.

“But I stopped things before it could go beyond friendship!”

“Why?” Lena shot.  Her eyes filled with bitterness and distrust.  “I might be gay, Kara, but I have eyes and James isn’t someone that most women would say no to.”

“Well, this woman did.”

Lena quirked an eyebrow at her, cajoling her to keep going.  Gulping, Kara frantically tried to think of a way to tell Lena the truth without exposing herself as Supergirl.  The sudden flash of Jess’ angry eyes filled Kara’s mind but she hurriedly pushed the guilt down.  In the middle of her first verbal fight with Lena wasn’t the time or place to reveal her alter ego; she’d just have to wait for a less tumultuous time to tell her girlfriend the truth.  Sorry, Jess.

“We both were hitting a peak in our…careers and we were each looking for someone who would support us and be proud of what we were accomplishing.”  Kara sheepishly smiled at her girlfriend.  “Turns out we both wanted to be the Superman in the relationship and neither of us were ok being Lois Lane.”

“Are you calling me your sidekick?”

“NO!”  Kara frantically waved her hands in disagreement.  Oh Rao, she was screwing this up royally.  The odds of her ending the night as single were increasing exponentially with every word that came out of her mouth.  “What I meant to say is, we had a hard time supporting each other.  At that time, we were stressed out about the new roles we were undertaking and the responsibilities attached.  It’s selfish to say, but we both wanted someone who would be our rock and remind us that we had what it takes to succeed.”

Prying Lena’s hand open, Kara nervously played with the CEO’s delicate fingers.

“We were too caught up in our own lives that we couldn’t manage to make room for a relationship—no, that’s not right.  We just didn’t want to.”  The reporter thoughtfully ran her fingers over the lines of Lena’s hands, reverently tracing the line that started underneath her middle finger and stretched to beneath her pinky and curved to the side of her palm.  “It’s different with you though.  I don’t feel like I need to compete to be seen or recognized as an equal.  You’ve been supportive of me since day one and you’ve always valued what I said.”

Kara furtively looked over the rim of her glasses to gauge Lena’s reaction.  Her face had softened and was enamoured with Kara’s soothing strokes against her palm.  Inwardly sighing in relief, Kara continued, hoping her courage could last just a bit longer.

“We’re equals, Lena.  I feel like we’re able to balance each other out.  Like, you know when to challenge me to go beyond what I think are my limits, you appreciate who I am and what I have to offer, and you’re always in my corner supporting me.  I do my best to give you that same kind of,” Kara’s cheeks darkened as she felt her courage give out, “Uh…care.  I care for you—deeply.  You remind me what it is to fight to protect the things I hold close to my heart.”

“Come here.” Lena croaked out.  Kara silently moved around the table to crouch on her knees next to Lena.  She pulled the paler hand to rest against the center of her chest.

“I…I lo—”

Lena shook her head.  Confused, the telltale crinkle appeared between Kara’s scrunched brows.  Emerald eyes twinkled at the crinkle’s appearance before she smoothed a thumb gently over it.

“You don’t need to force yourself to say it if you aren’t ready, darling.”

“I feel it though, Lena.  I just don’t know why my mouth gets all wonky when I try to say it out loud.”

The brunette shifted her hand to stroke soft caresses in the dip between Kara’s collar bones.

“It’s ok.  I can wait, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, darling.”  Deep emerald met vibrant cerulean.  “I can feel it.”

With that, Lena leaned forward and kissed Kara until she was the one with her back flat against the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My personal headcanon is that Lena's guilty pleasure is trashy pop music.
> 
> Other cute nicknames Lena calls her cat, Pumpkin, is: Patches, Pie, Pudding, and Seed. Any combination of Pumpkin plus those names. Kara thinks it's cute. Plus, the kitty is a little rug hugger with how short her legs are.
> 
> No Kara loving for James this fanfic either. >:C


	5. Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Luthor siblings finally meet at Lex's behest. Lena realizes how similar they really are and Lex sees Lena for who she really is.  
> After the emotional meeting, Lena tries to contact Kara for comfort but keeps frustratingly running into her voicemail, so she falls back onto old habits that lead her down a dark path. Luckily, Supergirl arrives and secrets are shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating of Spectrum has changed from T to M because of this chapter.  
> Trigger Warning for thoughts and attempt at suicide.

“You sure you want to do this, Lena?”

“If this will stop him from continuing to send people after me and it’ll keep Kara safe…then yes.”

Unhappy at the response, Jess clicked her tongue.  The two stood dwarfed by the daunting steel walls of the most notorious maximum security prison several hours outside of National City.

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about Kara’s safety too much.” Mumbled Jess.

“Did you say something?”

Clearing her throat, Jess straightened up and offered Lena a reassuring squeeze to her shoulder.

“If anything goes wrong, Richard and Kara’s cop friend, Maggie, will be there to help you out.  You sure you want to do this?”

Lena’s hands were clenched tight inside the pockets of her burgundy coat, nails digging sharp red crescents into her palm.  Lex had sent her an encrypted email offering her an ultimatum.  One visit to cease his repeated attempts at her life or he would start going after the people Lena loved until she showed up.  It wasn’t a tough choice really...or a choice at all.  After everything that had gone down with Lillian wrecking her life and forcibly using her to unlock Lex’s secret cache of anti-Kryptonian weapons, Lena needed answers.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

The room she was set up in brought flashbacks to her time visiting Lillian in jail.  White hot flashes of the abrupt betrayal of a mother she thought she finally understood overwhelmed her.  Eyes shut, she sucked in a deep breath.  It had only been a scant few weeks since Lena’s name was cleared but she was still reeling from the emotional manipulation Lillian dragged her through.  It didn’t help that Lena was still furiously hurt by Kara.  If she hadn’t guilted Lena into meeting with Lillian, she might’ve been able to avoid the whole debacle.

_No._

That wasn’t fair.  Kara just wanted her to be happy…to give Lillian a chance to prove that she was a good mother—to be the woman Lena desperately wanted her to be.  Time and experience was cruel though.  It was foolish of Lena to think her cold and abrasive mother would change and suddenly admit that she loved Lena.  The last time she said she loved her, she tried to set project Medusa off and kill all the aliens in National City.  It wasn’t Kara’s fault for Lena still clinging to her childish dream that underneath all of Lillian’s layers of cruelness was the slightest bit of warmth towards her.

“A sight for sore eyes.”

Her eyes snapped open.

There, sat right in front of her, was her big half-brother, Alexander “Lex” Luthor.  He still exuded confidence with a slight up tilt of his chin, sharp, intelligent blue eyes (just like Lillian’s), his signature self-assured smile, and classic clean shaven head.  If it weren’t for the gauntness in his cheeks, the drab prisoner uniform, and the silver cuffs cinched neatly around his wrists and tied to a metal bar on the table, this could have been a regular conversation between the two at Luthor Corp.

“Lex.”

“Is that any way to greet your brother after leaving him to rot for so long?”

“The brother I remember wasn’t someone who sent mercenaries to kill me.”

He inclined his head toward her, acknowledging the anger dripping from her words.  The bald headed man casually looked over his shoulder where Richard, Maggie, Jess, and four other prison guards stood armed on the other side of the door, silently watching them.

“I suppose this explains the extra security detail then, hmm?”

Patience razor thin, Lena snapped at him.

“What do you want, Lex?  I got your email and I’m here.  If you’ve dragged me out here just to gloat about how mother tricked me, hurry up so I can leave.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her.  This irritable and dangerous woman before him was nothing like the meek little sister he grew up with.  Carefully studying her, she seemed harder and more weathered, no doubt thanks to their mother framing her.  Lex sighed.  This isn’t how he pictured their first visit going.

“I heard about what mom did to you.”

“That was certainly one way to be told you had a secret vault of weapons to kill Superman with.”

Teeth clenched, Lex trained his eyes back to Lena.

“She brought you there then?”

“After framing and casting me in jail, it seems like us Luthors are all destined to be in a cell.”

“You weren’t meant to ever see that, Lee.”

“Then why did mother bring me there?” Lena shouted, hands banging against the metal table as she shot up out of her chair.  “She humiliated and used me, Lex!  It’s one thing for you to try and kill me but to plot with her to defame and use me like that…”

A loud banging stole their attention.  Maggie stood on the other side of the door with her side arm drawn, fist against the bullet proof glass.  The others couldn’t hear much of what the two Luthor siblings were saying through the thick glass but Lena’s abrupt movement kicked everyone into action.

“Everything alright in there?”

Jaw tight, Lena nodded her head and sat back down.  The others watched warily for a few more moments before clipping their weapons back into their holsters.

“I installed that safety feature to lock mom out.  The scanner would only open the weapons cache for you and me.”

She narrowed her eyes as she crossed her arms tightly against her chest.

“Why?”

“I figured mom was a little more obsessed with taking out the alien populace than I was since she formed and led Cadmus.  She always told me stories growing up about how the alien scum were sapping us of our resources and were ruthless in taking down humans who were a threat.  Believe it or not, she was just looking out for us, Lena.”

“If that’s true, why make it so only the two of us could access your weapons?”

His jaw tensed.

“She must’ve told you the truth of why you came to live with us, right?  Who you really are?”

She pursed her lips to stop them from trembling.

“So it’s true?  Mother wasn’t lying about me being a Luthor?”

Lex nodded.

“We might not be fully related but you’re my sister.  I do care for you.”

“You have a funny way of showing you care about me.  What with the hired mercs throwing me off my own building and trying to gun me down every public event.”

The bald man clenched his fists, eyes boring holes into Lena.

“I have protected you for years without you even knowing.  I made sure we always celebrated your birthday even though you pretended to hate it because mom would never acknowledge it.  You think it was her who wired you money when you were still getting your degree?  What about that girl—Veronica, was it?  She aggressively bullied you in school and somehow she magically stopped.  Want to know who pressured her family to the brink of bankruptcy if she didn’t?  When you came out to me, I supported you wholeheartedly and we even snuck out to your first Pride parade together.  You have always been a priority for me, Lena.  Don’t pretend like I didn’t care about you.”

Lips pursed, Lena willed the tears back.  He was right…Lex always stood by her side even before he knew they were truly related—but that Lex was from long ago, buried under layers of paranoia, xenophobia, and unbridled hatred for Superman.

Lex idly twisted his wrists to admire the glint of the handcuffs as he quietly collected himself.

“While you were away at boarding school, mother showed me footage and reports of aliens that were destroying cities.  Humans being enslaved, human housing units being set ablaze, and the power those bastards had to decimate us with barely any effort.”  The chains of Lex’s handcuffs scraped loudly against the metal table as he leaned forward.  “Dad and I were becoming leaders in the technology world.  How long do you think those alien scum would have left us alone?  Mom told me the truth.  If it wasn’t for her, who knows how long it would’ve taken me to realize the danger we were in?  Everything I created was to protect you.  I was fighting them so that you wouldn’t have to.”

Lena scoffed at his words.

“Are you serious, Lex?  We weren’t in any danger!”

“Open your eyes, Lena!  Once I took over Luthor Corp, we had attacks almost daily!  I was making leaps and bounds in technology and those damn aliens were greedy to get the upper hand.  The tech from their planets were so far advanced that they were just waiting for us to catch up.  They were waiting to see who would be the fastest so that they could control them.”  Eyes darkening, Lex glared down at the metal cuffs that dug into his skin.  “I wasn’t fully committed to mother’s cause until I learned that Clark lied to me about who he was.  He had all this power at his disposal and he was wasting it protecting people instead of going to the root of the problem and eliminating it.  If he had just finished off those violent aliens, he wouldn’t need to fly around soaking up the glory with his temporary help.  The truth was he didn’t want to get his hands dirty.”

He was doing it again.

Lex was sinking back into the anger and paranoia that Lillian had brainwashed him with.  She was watching herself lose her supportive and playful brother all over again.  When they were young, Lex was patient, clever, and always had a mischievous glint in his eyes as he shared with Lena all his inventions he was working on.  Lionel used to joke that she was her brother’s shadow.  If ever someone wanted to find one of them, they merely had to find the other.  They were inseparable growing up.  Lena’s fondest memories were of her and Lex tinkering together on a new invention or the time he taught her how to drive when she was 14 but she accidentally hit a street sign doing a sharp turn and fired off the air bags.  He was the first to laugh through the pain of having a face full of airbag and he took the full blame of totalling the car even though Lillian glared at Lena, knowing the truth of who was really driving.  Lena missed the old Lex and she desperately wished he was here now.  God, she could really use her big brother.  How she missed having him be the first to always stand up for her, even when she was wrong, and support her through thick and thin.  If it wasn’t for him, Lena would have never survived the loneliness of the Luthor mansion and the cruelty of being sent away to boarding school.

“Lex…” She swallowed the painful memories down, “why would you send people to kill me if everything you did was to protect me?”

He slid his pale hands across the table until the chains jerked his hands back.  Fingers outstretched, he pulled against the taut restraints.  Emerald eyes swelled with guilt at the glimmer of her old brother she saw with his outstretched hands.  Biting her cheek, she tentatively reached out one hand, just far enough for her fingertips to rest in his and he quickly rested his other hand against the tops of her fingers.

“Lena, please, look at me.”

Her woeful eyes slid up from where he barely held her hand to his pleading blue eyes.  For a minute, they looked just like Lillian’s with how light and piercing they were.  She blinked and the image of the Luthor matriarch faded away until she saw her brother again.

“I did everything I could to stop you from living in a world where those aliens would take everything from you.  I don’t want you to live in that kind of world…especially if you have to experience it firsthand.  Everything I did was so that I could protect you.”  His hands shook with the amount of effort he was straining to hold her hand.  “I was thrown in jail before my dream of ridding Earth of this threat was realized.  The way you looked at me when I was trying to stop Superman broke me.  You thought I was a monster and the conviction you argued with in regards to eradicating aliens showed me where you really stood.  So, I never told you about the kryptonite weapons I made because you would never use them.  Without me there to protect you, I couldn’t stand the thought of you ending up killed or enslaved.  This was the only solution.  At least, with you gone, you would never have to suffer that fate.”

“So what?  You think killing me is the answer??”  Fat tears clung stubbornly to her bottom lashes as she ripped her hand away.  Anger burned bright in her eyes at the broken look on Lex’s face.  “It’s my life, Lex!  You don’t get to decide how I live or finish it!”

“Lena, I—”

“No!  I spent my whole life doing what everyone else wanted me to do.  I went to that god forsaken boarding school in the middle of nowhere in Ireland for years, I went on dates with dad’s business associates’ sons to make him happy, and I saved Luthor Corp from going under after you left!  When did I _ever_ get to make my own choices about my life?”  Tears finally cascaded down her cheeks as the buildup of emotions became too much.  She was sick, absolutely fucking _sick_ of people making decisions for her without ever asking her.  All she wanted was for people to be honest and truthful with her.  It’s not like she was irrational or unreasonable.  Why did everyone always feel the need to lie to her and do “what was best” without ever consulting her?

“I’m not a kid anymore, Lex.  I can protect myself now.”

“How?  I heard Supergirl went rogue in your city and was letting aggressive aliens go free.  That’s why I developed those weapons!  The powers those Kryptonians have is overwhelming.  Who’s to say the next time they snap, they won’t come after you??  Please, Lena, use the technology!”

“ _NO!_ ”  Lena glared furiously at her brother, eyes brittle with anger.  “I’m done following other peoples’ orders.  I’ve forged my own path in life.  If Supergirl comes after me, it’ll probably be because of what you and mother have done.  She saved me from mother though, did you know that?  After mom used me to access your weapons, Supergirl was one of two people that believed I was innocent and showed up to save me.  Mom used your tech to _hurt_ her, Lex.  Someone who you’re claiming would kill me actually believed I was innocent when no one else did.  If she’s so terrible, she would have never risked her life to save me when the base blew up.”

“She’s just playing y—”

“You mean just like you and mother did?”  Lena retorted, angrily wiping at her eyes.  He didn’t deserve to see her cry.

“That’s not it!  I didn’t know mom was going to use you!”

“I may be a Luthor, Lex, but mother has never seen me as her own.”

He opened his mouth to argue but Lena’s furious green eyes stopped him.

“You were the only one she cared about, Lex.  You can stop feeling guilty that she didn’t love me too.”

All the anxious energy in Lex’s body suddenly left him.  She cut through his walls and uncovered the real truth behind his actions.  Finally, after years of pretending to be a strong older brother, Lex let the crushing weight of his guilt pour out.  Lena saw the deep frown lines etched into his face and the proud rise of Lex’s chin tilt down to reveal hollow and tired eyes.

“I’m sorry, Lena.”

She wiped an errant tear from her cheek as she turned her head away from the sad sight in front of her.

“It’s ok, Lex.  Mom was pretty brutal at playing with our feelings.”

“But it’s not ok.  She made you feel unwanted because she couldn’t deal with dad’s infidelity.”

“Well, I am living, breathing proof of his betrayal.”

The bald man finally retracted his hands, quietly running calloused fingertips over bruised knuckles.

“I know what it feels like to be unwanted.”

Lena’s laugh was low and bitter.

“The way mother doted on you, I doubt you went a second unloved.”

He clenched his hands together, left hand in a tight fist with his right fingers curled like claws on top, trying to keep the burn of being unwanted from scorching Lena.

“You’re right.  Want to know why I had such a plethora of Kryptonite weapons?  You remember how devastated I was when Clark betrayed me, yes?”

Lena stiffly nodded.

“You’ve undoubtedly read the files I left at Luthor Corp at this point.  It was one thing to have your best friend lie to you about being Superman, but it’s another to have the person you love not even spare you a glance as she picks an alien over you.”  His whole body tensed as he willingly ripped open an old wound and let the festering hurt spill out between them.  “We’re Luthor’s, Lena.  We’re fucking cursed, do you understand?  Just like we’re meant to be geniuses and vilified so that we’re thrown in jail, we’re meant to be alone and unloved.  I gave her everything I was!  If Lois Lane couldn’t love someone as rich, suave, and intelligent as me—no one could!  The only people who can love monsters like us is our own family.  I didn’t want you to live long enough to realize this but it’s true.”

Broken, his pale eyes met hers.

“Who’s going to love you?”

Lip trembling, Lena felt the telltale burn of tears at the back of her eyes.  She was finally able to see her older brother as he truly was: sad, lonely, and desperate to keep at least one person in his life.  She spent years seeing the same person in the mirror every morning.  Even if they weren’t fully siblings, she saw the love he had for her shining bright in his blue eyes.  Forced to survive in the same toxic household, they were the only ones able to fully understand the extent that Lillian Luthor went to in order to pit their emotions against them.  She was afraid that her children would recognize how twisted she was inside and leave her like Lionel emotionally did.  Lillian managed to chain both Lex and Lena to her by poisoning them with the thought that her love was absolute and that without it, they would be worthless and forever unloved.

Lena reached out and clasped her hands around Lex’s trembling ones.  Her hands were much smaller than his and she could see the barely healed scabs along his knuckles from where he undoubtedly punched out his feelings about being trapped in such emotional turmoil for so long.

“Lex…after everything that’s happened, I do love you.” She heartbrokenly told him.

He scoffed, but didn’t move his hands away.

“That’s not true.”

She wiggled her fingers beneath his right hand and clasps it warmly between hers, thumbs stroking gently against the torn skin of his knuckles.  Ducking her head, she firmly held his gaze and offered him a watery smile.

“Did Lillian teach either of us how to really love other people?”

Silence befell them.

They sat quietly sniffling for a long while before Lex moved his left hand to rest hesitantly atop Lena’s.  At her lack of flinching, he gently squeezed her hand.  All those years ago when Lena was brought home for the first time, he saw how bright and true her spirit was.  Even with the crushing weight of Lillian’s dismissal and harsh criticisms, Lena remained steadfast in her desire to see that others were worth the effort and held on stubbornly to that rare bit of goodness the universe gifted her.  To see her now, strong and unflappable in the face of adversity with the world literally turning against her, he was proud.  Lena had grown beyond the shadow cast by his mother and the seed of self-doubt she planted in both Luthor children.

Lena was stronger than all of them.

This was the last shadow she needed to step out of.  No longer was she going to be cursed for her last name and chased down by Lex.  All he wanted was to protect her from a world that wouldn’t have her, but it was clear now that who Lena was at the core was beautiful—the world be damned.  It was lucky to have her.

He clutched her hands tighter.  

Lex unnecessarily made her life hard.  If she could survive being raised a Luthor, thwart all his attempts at taking her life to spare her from this cruel world, and still have enough kindness to love him despite all his mistakes, Lex could do this one thing for her—to let her live life on her own terms.

Lillian might not have taught them what love is, but letting Lena be free and trusting her to be happy…it felt pretty damn close.

 

**\-----------------------------**

 

“ _Hi!  You’ve reached the voicemail of Kara Danvers.  Sorry I missed your call!  I’m probably chasing down the next headline for CatCo magazine but if you leave a name and number I’ll—_ ”

Lena angrily thumbed the end call button.

She had just returned to National City after her emotional meeting with Lex.  All she wanted was for her girlfriend to answer her phone and come over so they could cuddle.  God, Lena needed Kara’s healing cuddles right now.  The night before, Kara had stopped by and let Lena know that she arranged for her sister’s girlfriend to escort her to the maximum security prison as extra protection, but immediately left after receiving a phone call.  It was sweet how worried Kara was for her and it made Lena feel loved to know that Kara went out of her way to ensure Lena’s safety.  Before the blonde left to go back to work, she promised Lena that she would stay up until the CEO called her to let her know how the visit went.

So far, Lena had only gotten Kara’s voicemail.

Anxious, Lena slid off her barstool and quickly fixed herself a vodka lime that was essentially all vodka with a drop of lime juice.  Lena felt the dark tendrils of negative thoughts creep into the forefront of her mind.  She hurriedly downed her drink.  It was a 50/50 chance when she drank that either the alcohol would mute her loud thoughts or it would escalate them to a point that Lena would wake up sick on the floor with empty bottles of liquor around her.

She was willing to take that bet.

Fiddling with the empty cup, Lena let her mind wander.  She had barely seen her girlfriend the past few weeks.  Sure, Kara was there after Lena’s name was cleared and she saw her for all of two seconds yesterday, but the time in between?  They made a few lunch and dinner dates but Kara’s phone would always go off and she would make some lame excuse that rarely made sense before she was running out of the restaurant.  She didn’t even remember to kiss Lena goodbye.  She might not be well-versed in relationships but Lena knew what this type of behaviour meant.

Kara was tired of her.

Hands trembling, Lena hurriedly fixed herself another drink.  How pathetic of her.  She took a long drag of her boozy beverage.  Visiting Lex today was a terrible idea, especially when she was already distraught about Kara’s erratic and suspicious behaviour.  She knew that it was impossible to capture and contain lightning in a bottle…she just wished that her relationship with Kara would have lasted a bit longer, especially on such a heavy day like this.  Sighing, Lena made her way to the bathroom to splash cool water against her face.

“C’mon, Lena, stop being such a sad sack and get it together.” She muttered at her reflection, “this is why Kara can’t stand being around you.  You’re baggage is weighing everyone down.”

_Who’s going to love you?_

With another splash of cold water, Lena angrily toweled off her face.

“You knew it was a matter of time before she saw who you really are.  Just another sad, lonely, and depressed Luthor unable to deal with their life.  Lex knew it and so do I.”  Hands gripping the sides of her sink, Lena’s eyes zeroed in on the watch Kara had Supergirl deliver.  Since owning it, Lena had only entertained thoughts of pushing the call sign but always squashed the desire down before she could.  The one instance she could, she had no time to when Detective Sawyer handcuffed her and confiscated it.  Lena pushed in the crown until the face popped up revealing the Supergirl emblem.  Idly, she traced her finger along it, eyes glazing over.  Her thoughts were piling on top of each other, crowding her mind into a jumbled mess of why her girlfriend was so distant, Lex’s words during her visit, and her own inability to cope with her emotional issues stemming from Lillian.

What would it be like to push the button?

She’d never done it before and she could use some company.  Jess was with her all day and she didn’t want to monopolize her evening as well…and Supergirl did say she was ok with a social call.  Lena bit her lip.  Her finger was poised and ready to push but the nagging voice at the back of her mind kept crying out for Kara not Supergirl.  This wasn’t right.  She needed Kara not some beautiful stand-in that she had a slight crush on.  Lena deftly unclasped the watch from her wrist and flipped the toilet seat lid up.  The silver watch glinted in the fluorescent bathroom lights and she could see a warped image of herself in the links of the wristband.

Another piece of someone trying to control her life and do what they thought was best for her.  She let go and watched as the piece of jewelry quietly broke the water’s surface then sunk to the bottom.  Emotionally drained, Lena leaned forward and flushed, eyes following the swirl of water as the watch was whisked away from her.  She picked up her half full beverage and maneuvered herself back to the living room.

She was empty.

Swirling the liquid inside her hi-ball glass idly, Lena listlessly stared out her balcony doors.  God, she hated having to feel like this…being so devastated by her life that she was completely numb to the world.  A meow and a soft bop to her calf had her looking down.  Curious amber eyes stared back.  Allowing herself a small smile, she tipped her head backwards until her glass was empty and moved to feed her pet.

“Good Pumpkin Patches.  Don’t eat too quickly, darling.” Lena softly cooed as she ran her fingers over her kitty’s back.  Standing upright, Lena skillfully made herself another hi-ball, making sure to be heavy handed with the vodka.  The brunette leisurely strolled out onto her balcony and softly shut the glass door behind her.  A gentle breeze tickled Lena’s flyaways as she leaned her forearms against the cool metal railing of her expensive penthouse balcony.  How unfortunate that even with all the money in the world at her disposal, Lena couldn’t buy the time or love of those she cared about.  Lex resented her for not following in his footsteps, Lionel passed too soon, Lillian was bitter at the easy affection her husband bestowed on Lena and that she wasn’t of her blood, and Kara…Lena took a long pull from her drink.  Kara was too sweet and pure for someone as dark and gnarled inside as Lena.  Biting her lip, Lena tilted her head back to blink the stinging in her eyes away.

She shouldn’t cry.

A Luthor never cries.

“Just like you wanted, mom.” Lena whispered, staring out unseeingly into National City`s skyline.  She opened her arms wide then closed her eyes, reveling in the crisp night air and how it gently shifted her dark ponytail in its breeze.  She bit her lower lip in an attempt to quell its trembling.  Alone…that’s what she was always destined to be once the Luthor’s took her under their wing and forced her to live such a muted and choked life.  Lowering her arms, Lena shifted her gaze towards the bright lights of L-Corp.  She lifted her glass to block the illuminated sign and closed one eye to look at the blurred image through her drink.

She should’ve just let the company die.  Lex had destroyed their reputation so horribly that Lena had to run to a completely different city to try and salvage what was left of the few pieces of technology and investments that weren’t linked to the decimation of extra-terrestrials.  Closing her other eye, Lena focused on the foggy weightlessness gifted by her drinking.  Fingers loose, her glass slipped between limp fingers to shatter abruptly on dark pavement.  The sound had her eyes snapping open.  The sound triggered the memory of Lex’s most recent attempt on her life.  For a moment she was like those pieces of glass she witnessed when Supergirl placed her in the care of paramedics.  Seemingly whole but so fragile that the slightest of rough touches could shatter her.

Glancing around, Lena blearily blinked the haze of the memory away then dragged one of the outdoor lounge chairs up to the railing.  Kicking off her slippers, Lena mechanically stood on the chair and looked down at the bustle of traffic below her.  Things were going so well with Kara…she had come over and played with Pumpkin, kissed her with warmth and affection, and looked at Lena as if she was something to be treasured and deserving of love.  Lex`s face flashed through her mind.  They spent so many summers tinkering in basements and garages taking apart different tech only to try and rebuild it better and more efficient.  He was the one who taught Lena how to assemble a computer from scratch and overclock the processor.  Now, all she could see and hear is his angry eyes and bitter words from earlier.  She hissed low in her throat as she shoved her left palm into her eye, willing the hurt and pain to go away.  All she wanted was someone to be with her…sure she had Jess but she had her own life and boyfriend to go home to, what did Lena have?  A too big penthouse suite with her cat, an abusive family, and a flaky girlfriend.

Living the glamorous life, obviously.

With her hectic schedule as the head of L-Corp, it really was inevitable that Kara realized that there was no way Lena could give Kara the attention she deserved.  Being with her was dangerous.  If it wasn’t someone from her family actively trying to wipe her out then it was another business competitor hoping to gain the upper hand in the technology world and monopolizing her time.  Her shoulders sagged with fatigue and the weight of disappointment.  She just couldn’t win.  Maybe this is why Lillian hated her so much…her belief that things would right themselves and pay off if she worked hard enough.  Lionel always praised Lena for her optimism in the face of adversity…she just didn’t realize her hope had its limits—that she had her limits.

Sucking in a deep breath, Lena planted her right foot against the cold metal of her balcony railing.  She was a Luthor and like any Luthor, she would go out only when she said so, and right now, she wanted out.

The noise of the city was muted as she stared blankly below.  She should be feeling angry, desperate, and depressed—but all she felt was numb.  Everything she was supposed to be feeling was gone…muted.  All that was left was this void.  Numbness.  She just wanted to feel.  To be loved, held against the chest of a blonde reporter, a shared smile of mischief between her brother and her, the gentle ruffle of her father’s hand against her dark locks, the look of quiet pride of her mother—Lena craved this closeness, but it wasn’t meant to be.  Sucking in an unsteady breath, she bent her knees to spring upward and over, until she heard a soft whoosh and felt a presence to her left.

“Impeccable timing.” She dryly remarked.

“Lena…please don’t do this.”

“And how would you know what I want?”

“…do you?”

Lena grit her teeth.  What she wants isn’t something she can feasibly have because of who she is as a person, her cursed last name, and everything attached to it.  All she wanted was the unconditional love of someone who understood her, perhaps someone who was a reporter for CatCo and radiated happiness, but of course, Kara wised up and finally realized that Lena was too emotionally stunted to properly love her.  No doubt she must have moved onto someone else that was better able to fill that gap in her heart.  Why else would Kara still entertain Lena by agreeing to dates but then run off due to some ‘work emergency’ with the flimsiest of excuses?  It was over.

“I’m done, Supergirl.  I won’t let Lex’s mercenaries or my mother have the pleasure of snuffing me out.”

The heroine reached out to her.

“You don’t have to do this.”

The railing was cold under her foot, so cold that goosebumps rose along her flesh.  She couldn’t be bothered to care as she stared down impassively teetering along the precipice of her end.

“How did you know I would be here?  Are you spying on me?”

Red boots stepped closer to her, hand still outstretched and ready while Lena remained motionless.

“No.  The emergency call watch Ms. Danvers gave you checks your heart rate and location.  It was an added safety feature just in case something happened to you and you weren’t able to hit the emergency button in time.”  One more step and Supergirl would be able to close the gap between them.  “The watch’s location was travelling rapidly through National City and I was alerted about you potentially being kidnapped.  My x-ray vision revealed that it was traveling through the sewer system so I immediately came here, worried about your safety.”

“My hero.”

“Lena…” Warm fingers edged closer to her pale wrist.  “Come down.”

The blur of car lights from this height made her dizzy.  How easy it would be to tip over and stop all her problems—to escape.  Kara would be free to pursue someone who was able to truly love her, the rest of her family could stop wasting their time, and Jess could finally go on vacation.  Everybody wins.

Fingers wrapped cautiously around her wrist and tugged lightly.  Slowly, Lena broke her gaze away from the street below and turned to look at the intruder.  Supergirl’s eyes were blown wide with fear as her hand trembled softly against Lena’s skin.  The brunette’s mind worked slowly as she drank in the heroine’s desperation and fear at Lena’s potential next move.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I don’t want you to go.  Please…Lena.”

Long moments passed as Lena stood ready to pitch herself over the edge and escape her life, but the desperate pleading for Lena to step back shone loudly in Supergirl’s eyes.  Too loud.

“If I went over, would you let me?”

The blonde licked her lips.

“No.”

“Even if I really wanted to?”

“This world needs Lena Luthor…Kara Danvers needs you.”

Kara.

The one girl in all the world that was willing to see past the Luthor name to willingly love her.  Lena bit the inside of her cheek.  How cruel it would be to leave this world without selfishly seeing Kara one last time.

Another tug on her arm.

This time, Lena allowed herself to be pulled back behind the safety of the railing.  Supergirl softly murmured to watch out for the broken glass and shifted Lena off the chair to a clean patch that was glass free.  Feet solid against the cold flooring of her balcony, Lena stared down quietly, tracking Supergirl’s boots as she pulled the chair away from the edge then moved to stop right in front of her.  A soft swish of fabric settled along Lena’s bare shoulders.  The boots stepped closer.

“You’re shivering.” Supergirl softly murmured.  Hand warm against the CEO’s shoulder, the heroine guided Lena back inside, where Lena sluggishly followed until she stumbled crossing the balcony threshold.  Supergirl was quick to catch her and floated them the rest of the way to the couch where she gently deposited Lena.  Hands clenching the red material closer to herself, Lena finally looked up.  It was surreal seeing the girl of steel zipping around her kitchen fixing up a warm beverage.

“Careful…it’s hot.”  The blonde carefully offered Lena a steam cup of jasmine tea.  She didn’t pull her hand away until Lena’s fingers curled around hers.  Supergirl settled down on top of the coffee table, knees barely brushing the business woman’s, as they sat facing each other.

“You look weird without the cape.”

“I don’t mind letting you borrow it.”

Lena sipped at the tea, eyes averted, while Supergirl quietly took her in.

“How’re you feeling, Ms. Luthor?”

She half-heartedly shrugged her shoulder, eyes still downcast.

“Are you cold?  Do you want me to get you a blanket or turn up the heat?  I could—” Supergirl was almost to her feet when a hand darted out to catch her wrist.

“Just stay here…please.”

The heroine plunked herself back down onto the coffee table and held Lena’s cold hands in hers, willing warmth back into her fingers.

“Hey, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

The two sat quietly, Lena sipping now and again from her mug while watching Supergirl press her fingers to the inside of Lena’s wrist, feeling the steady pulse beneath her fingers before soothingly dragging her fingers up and down the tendons in the brunette’s forearm.  Lena’s breathing soon matched the slow pace of the strokes; breathe in as Supergirl’s fingers ran up to her elbow and breathe out as her fingers came back down to the pulse at her wrist.  It was very soothing and reminded her of the gentle touch of K—

“How often do you do what you did earlier?” Supergirl quietly asked.

“This is the first time in a long while.”

Warm hands squeezed Lena’s.

“What caused you to want to…?”

“To kill myself?” Lena’s vivid green eyes snapped up to startled blue.  “My one and only visit to see Lex, so that he’d stop sending people after me, ended poorly and he made me realize what a lonely existence it truly is to be a Luthor.  Add on my mother issues and my girlfriend ignoring me and you’ve got some pretty compelling reasons as to why I was up there.”

Supergirl’s brow furrowed but she didn’t pull her hands away at the sudden burst of anger.  Instead, she kept up the gentle ministrations of stroking Lena’s forearm.

“Kara’s not ignoring you.”

“I’ve been trying to call her all night and all I’ve received is her voicemail.  After the whole debacle with my mother framing me, she’s started to pull away.  She was there initially but nowadays she can’t even make it through a coffee date without spouting some excuse and running off.”  Lena heavily sighed and set her mostly full mug down.  “Look, I know you’re friends with Kara but please don’t tell her about tonight.”

“I’m sure Ms. Danvers is just busy with all the alien activity happening in the city right now that she c—”

“It’s _fine._   Just leave it, Supergirl.  I was just drunk and got a little carried away.  There’s nothing to worry about.  Go back and patrol the city or whatever you were doing before coming to babysit me.”

Brows crinkling together, Supergirl held the CEO’s hands in hers.  Cerulean eyes sparked with fierce determination as she leaned closer.

“Things are not fine if you were willing to end things earlier.  Your life matters and it’s important.  I’ll send Kara over right away.”

“Don’t.” Lena immediately retracted her hands then crossed them tightly against her torso.  “I don’t want her to think I was doing this to get attention from her.  Today was just a slip in judgement, nothing more.  I can handle a little loneliness and emotional baggage.  I have been for years.  Besides, Kara’s probably on her way out of this relationship anyways.  I wouldn’t want to guilt her into staying.”

At this, Kara shook her head in bewilderment.  Did Lena just say she was about to leave their relationship?  She really wasn’t lying when she said there was an influx of alien butt to kick that required her attention as both Supergirl and Kara Danvers.  She didn’t mean to be flaky and end their dates abruptly but she couldn’t just politely ask the villains terrorizing National City to hold up for 30 minutes so she could have a nice lunch with her girlfriend.

“I think it would do you both some good if you were able to sit down and talk things out.”

“I appreciate the concern but it’s really none of your business, Supergirl.”

“It certainly is my concern when—” She snapped her mouth shut.  Cursing herself, she prayed to Rao that Lena didn’t catch her slip.  She would need to excuse herself as soon as possible and wait probably like ten minutes before knocking on Lena’s door so it didn’t seem suspicious.

Brows furrowing, Lena shifted forward to take in Supergirl’s sudden closed off expression.  At Lena’s advance, Kara leaned back.

“D-Did you need something, Ms. Luthor?”

Lena peered closer at the heroine’s wide dilated eyes.  At this close proximity, Supergirl smelled faintly of smoke (probably from a house fire), the crisp night air, and something floral.  The last smell set off a low hum in the back of Lena’s mind.  She had smelled that scent before…but where?

“If there’s nothing else, Ms. Luthor…”

Such beautiful eyes.  So vibrant and stunningly blue.  They were clear and soft even as Lena leaned closer.  The only pair that could compare was Kara’s.  Kara who had the same nick above her eyebrow as Supergirl, the same girl who softly stroked her fingers along the inside of Lena’s forearm like the heroine was just doing, and the same Kara who possessed the same stunning cerulean eyes that looked at her so soft and enticing as Supergirl.  The sudden revelation knocked Lena hard in the chest.  It couldn’t be…

“…Kara?”

Supergirl’s mouth dropped open in surprise as she worked silently to form words.

It was the exact same look Kara gave her when she admitted to be jealous about her relationship with James.  Those baby blue eyes…how could Lena have mistaken Supergirl for anyone else?  Suddenly, the realization of Kara withholding the truth about her alter ego burned bright in her chest, pushing a deep flush of anger, embarrassment, and betrayal at being kept in the dark and lied to up her neck to colour her cheeks crimson.

“Were you ever going to tell me???”

“Of course I was, it’s just that—”

Lena snatched her hands back and fruitlessly shoved at Kara’s shoulder—she didn’t even budge.

“Just what?  That I’m a Luthor and you couldn’t trust your _girlfriend_ with your secret?  You think I would turn you into an experiment or hand you over to my mother?”

“No!”  Kara frantically tried to grab at Lena’s hands but the other woman wasn’t having it.  On her feet, Lena tore the cape off her shoulders and threw it at the blonde’s face, annoyed that the heroine used her super speed to catch it before it whapped her in the face.  Shame flooded her body at how little Kara trusted her and how long she was played.

Kara hurriedly threw her cape away and rushed after the brunette that was storming away.

“I wanted to tell you but the timing never felt right!  You have to believe me!  All those times I came over to L-Corp for lunch and Jess—”

Lena whirled around and pinned Kara down with her murderous look.

“What about Jess?”

The heroine stopped dead.  Eyes narrowing at the blonde’s silence, Lena’s mind went into overdrive.

“Does Jess know that you’re Supergirl?”

Kara awkwardly flailed for a moment trying to desperately think of how to tell Lena without her being more upset and hurt about not being trusted with Kara’s secret.  Lena’s face darkened.

“So I’m the only one who didn’t know.  Stupid me.  You guys must’ve all laughed at how clueless I was.”

“We would never!  It was an accident that Jess found out the day—”

“How dare you.  You lied to me!  Made me think you were different people!”  Lena’s nostrils flared.  “I went home at night feeling so guilty that I was flirting with Supergirl when it was really you!”

Lena clutched at her hair, eyes wild as all of Kara’s confusing and suspicious behaviour finally made sense.  Kara was Supergirl!  Had been all along.

“You…”

Kara weakly reached out for Lena but the paler woman drew back as if burned.

“Don’t touch me!” Lena cried.  Kara’s face crumpled at the rejection.

“Please, Lena, let me explain!”

“No!  I’m done being lied to and betrayed.  I was dumb enough to actually believe that even if I never had my family in my corner, at least I had you, but now I realize that was a sham too!  Probably laughed it up at how you were able to string me along with your sister, friends, and Jess.”

“I’m sorry, Lena, please—”

“Probably was a game to you…maybe even an act of charity?  Throw a little love that sad Luthor’s way so she doesn’t end up like the rest of her crazy family and try to kill the Supers.  You’re damn family has taken everything away from mine!  Was this all some last attempt to make sure my family would be out of your way???”

Kara frantically grabbed at Lena’s wrists, her pulse surged violently under her index fingers.  Deep cerulean met enraged emerald.

“I had every intention to tell you, Lena, but things kept getting in the way that made it so I couldn’t.”

“I don’t want your excuses, Kara.”

She flinched at the resentful words.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.  I screwed up and I betrayed your trust and—”

“You know what the worst part about all this is?”

The angry tension in Lena’s body finally gave way to exhaustion as she steadily held Kara’s gaze.

“I love you more than I could ever love myself.”

Kara heard the distinct crack of her heart at the confession just as Lena pulled her hands free, slammed the bedroom door shut, and locked it behind herself.  She never imagined the first exchange of that sentiment would be said during the end of their relationship.  Limping forward, the girl of steel fell to her knees in front of the wooden barrier.  She didn’t need to use her super hearing to be able to pick up the deep hiccupping sobs behind the door.  Defeated, Kara pressed her forehead and hand against the hardwood, angry at herself for valuing her secret over her relationship.

Now, it didn’t matter since the woman she loved wouldn’t have her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are feeling isolated and that you're about to do something that is irreversible, sleep on it. When you wake up and those feelings are still there to hurt yourself or someone else, please seek counselling and reach out to others. Rally up your support group and tell people. The worst thing you can do is exacerbate the situation by isolating yourself and stewing in your own thoughts. You aren't bothering anyone and they would much rather know so that they can support you. If you feel like you can't wait or need more support, please please please hit up these websites and call https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ and http://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/
> 
> Sorry about the delay. Got distracted by Mass Effect Andromeda's campaign and MP. Was waiting a long time to finish this chapter (started it during chapter 3) but it kept making me sad. If you haven't heard Numbers by Daughter, please give it a listen. It perfectly encapsulates that moment of loneliness Lena feels. Also, the music video will crush your soul. Lena also was drinking Karkus Spirytus vodka. It's 96% alcohol content.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I've written anything. Any and all mistakes are my own (but let me know when you see them).  
> Hope you enjoy and will stick with me throughout this journey!  
> Feel free to message me at catharsis-dreaming on tumblr, if you'd like.


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